Friday, November 21, 2008

Will you call Child Protective Services or shall I?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081121/ap_on_en_mu/baby_names_simpson_wentz;_ylt=ApFqZXtFGnY1YlRbX163VAxxFb8C

There's naming your kid something unique. There's naming your kids something unusual. There's even naming your kids something whacky. And then there's just being an asshole.

I know I've ranted about this before. But this just takes the cake. These two simpletons aren't even from the Bronx. And Bronx would be just barely acceptable if the kid's last name wasn't Wentz. Bronx Wentz. Bronx Wentz. It sounds like a goose with asthma. And Mowgli! What kind of douche bag names their kid Mowgli? Hey, I love the Jungle Book too. But I'm not naming a kid Baloo. Even freaking Britney Spears drunk off her ass didn't name her kid MOWGLI.

Wentz, your name is Pete. That sweet baby could have been Pete Jr. PJ. Who doesn't love a PJ? Or even Ashleigh Jr. (spelled the boy way) is boldly unique, but not bizarre. AJ. Or Ash. Nope, we leap frog over these logical, inoffensive alternatives and pick Bronx Mowgli Wentz.

Ugh. Bronx Mowgli Wentz (BMW, double ugh!) you have my deepest sympathies. It's going to be a long haul to 18. Poor baby.

4 comments:

WashingtonGardener said...

For some reason I'm not finding "Bronx" as offensive as all those Palin kids' names -- which all sound too me like the blurbs across the screen when Batman hits someone.

FirePhrase said...

The Wentz kid sounds poser tough, while the Palin kids sound poser upper middle class. Who does poser upper middle class?

Desiree' said...

I can live with Bronx (until you start calling him Bronx Wentz), but Mowgli? Seriously? That is just ridiculous. But I guess it is just as bad as Gwen Stefani's son: Zuma Nesta Rock. Zuma is an online game, not a name. Now Nesta is Bob Marley's middle name and one of my brother's favorite names, but put it all together and it is not a good name.

FirePhrase said...

All I can ever think when I hear Gwen Stefani's kid's name is that deep voice that's on the game - "Zuuuu-MAH". It's just odd. Nesta Rock would have been just fine.

TIME: Quotes of the Day