Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Non means non, Pepe; or ou est Madame DuFarge?

Ugh. I’m already sick of the French calling us prudes and Puritans for arresting Dominique Strauss-Kahn. Okay, I probably have a shorter fuse than many with the frogs. Something inherent in my Brit roots makes me itchy to take a broad sword to them. Metaphorically, of course.

But the way they are getting all huffĂ© with us about him being some great “seducer” (please), and we don’t understand “flirtation”. If there is some sort of sketchy line in France between “Voulez vous couchez avec moi” and sex charges in which DNA has been collected (allegedly), cancel my trip to Paris.

And that’s the thing. They are entitled to their icky lack of sexual boundaries. Vive la difference. But he wasn’t there. He was here. And we’re pretty clear here about what’s a little light slap and tickle, and what’s stranger danger. And the hotel maid? That’s just wrong. Like it’s not bad enough that they have to clean your Frenchy body hair out of the drain. And I'm pretty sure that a hotel maid in NYC has seen it all, and can probably defend herself pretty well. If he got so handsy with her that she said something, he was WAY out of line.

So, with respect to what he ALLEGEDLY did (innocent until proven a cheese-eating lecher monkey), yes, he should have been arrested for those allegations if they had adequate evidence for an indictment. And made to do the perp walk in front of a squadron of photographers. It’s a quaint, old, American custom. You know. Customs. Those things that we’re supposed to respect when you do them in your country. Like spitting when one talks and avoiding personal hygiene products.

TIME: Quotes of the Day