Who knew a President could bring sexy back?

Okay, am I the only one? If these two guys walked into a bar where I was enjoying an adult beverage, I'm pretty sure I'd be thinking "Heyy-eeeyyy." Complete with the patented Lindsay Wagner hair-tuck-behind-the-ear maneuver and the surreptitious scoping action. I don't usually dig the power-broker type. But, ooooo, you just know that they reek of influence like a 9th grader reeks of Axe and sweat socks. Just makes my estrogen churn.

Not that I think Obama picked Rahm Emmanuel as the ultimate wing-man. Unlike the previous attractive President who knew how to work his mojo, I'm pretty sure Barack Obama is gettin' home cookin'. But I do think they'd rate a mm-m-mm down at the watering hole.

fwhew!

Isn't it great when it turns out not to be your fault?

num-num-num-num.

Tastes like candy.

Well, I'll be damned

So, we’ve got a black President Elect. I’m not sure how is racial background will affect his governance philosophy. But I can say that I feel like we’re slightly cooler as a nation now. A black Commander in Chief has a certain cache, no?

And the fact that we do have a POTUS with a little melanin speaks to a new reality in America. Sure, there’s Joe Six-Pack, but he just might be black. And there are more than a few Jose Six-Packs, and Xiu Six-Packs, Mo(hamed) Six-Packs and Jane Six-Packs. All proud to be Americans. And possibly color doesn’t have to be the single most pertinent fact of identity. Or the deciding factor in an election.

Oh, Mr. Obama isn’t exactly your average American. He graduated from Harvard Law, people. And if I had to bet, I’d say his probably more like Joe Pinot. Suddenly, we’re in an America that can call the bi-racial son of a middle-class, single mother an elitist. And elect him President. Huh. Whoda thunk? I'm kind of impressed with us today.

It's a gyp, I tell ya

Awww. There's a picture over on CNN that a guy took of himself voting (I'd post the link, but it will probably be gone soon anyway), and he's voting on one of those big, old-fashioned voting machines that's a real booth and has all the buttons. I bet it has a curtain and a big lever too. Dude. I always wanted to vote on one of those. That guy looks really happy.

When my Mom went to vote when I was a little kid, I'd try to sneak a look under the curtain (Mom took voter privacy very seriously) and see what was going on. I couldn't wait to be old enough to use one of those things. But in the 20+ years I've been voting, I've never gotten to use one. Today I had to use a legal sheet of paper and a Sharpie pen. Sucks.

No stickers. No buttons. No curtains. No fair.

My Fellow Americans

So, I went and voted today, in spite of the fact that I think this election may go down the Supreme Court and that just burns my biscuits. Hyperventilated when I had to fill in my Presidential vote. Whoo. That was rough. I only had to stand in line 30 minutes, so I count myself pretty lucky. Oh, and the fact that I was born in a democracy and do get to stand up and be counted. That was pretty lucky too.

But I'm standing there feeding my ballot (the SNEAKY ballot where if you weren't paying attention, you might not have noticed that the county hospital bond issue was on the BACK - yeah, if you thought you got that one over on me, you ferrets, well, ya din't! Ha!) and of course I did what all Americans do - I basked in the glow of my patriotism. Then looked around for my sticker.

No sticker. None. Not one. Can I call that voter tampering? Cause I'm a child of the 80s. We respond to stickers. I feel an overwhelming sense of achievement when I get a sticker. It's a rush. I look forward to my "I Voted Today" sticker. It seals the deal. (And by the way, next year could we get Scratch N Sniff "I Voted" stickers that smell like apple pie? That would be awesome.)

Not even to mention all the places that are offering free stuff if you have one of those stickers today. Total gyp. Other that "I live in a free country and get to vote" thing. That's a pretty good deal.

The Banana Republic of America

I'm going on the record today. We won't have a President elected on Tuesday. I'm even go to say that we may not know who's going to captain this tub until late December. Actually I think December is optimistic, but that's me. Cock-eyed optimist to the last.

You know they have law-suits drafted and ready to submit to the court first thing November 5. Whoever loses will sue first. John McCain has the ACORN thing. Barack Obama has the voter intimidation and suppression thing. And it will be ugly.

Given that they both have grievances in this area, it might mean that they're both being cheated against equally, so the outcome might actually be fair, if not actually legal. Don't it make you proud?

Back Down to Size

Sometimes the Universe steps in to keep you from getting a big head.

Saturday I was having a lucky day. Verging on magic. Everywhere I went, there was a good parking space. I found Gold Toe socks at the $ store. I found a used copies of Clue and the Full Monty at the Movie Trading Company. I found the end table that a friend was looking for at the World Market. Not just good. Perfect. And half off. Oh, yeah. I was running late for a show, so we stopped at a place for dinner that I had had a bad experience at (the Liberatus Day Hushpuppy Debacle), but knew would be pretty fast. And it was fast. And fantastic. Even the tartar sauce was good. And I hate tartar sauce. I'm telling you, the Universe loves me.

The next morning, I go over to my parents house to help them put away the Halloween stuff. My Dad is making waffles. Could the streak continue? It's so nice out, I'm in my barefeet. What could be better? Then as I'm taking stuff out to the car so that I can leave, I step out the door and onto a wasp.

Yes, I was still in my barefeet, thank you for asking. Holy cats. Such pain. I'm sure there are things that are more painful - gunshot wounds, getting hit by a bus, cattle prods. But of normal things that could happen to you, a wasp sting on the bottom of the foot has to be right up there. Wasps are mean.

On the positive side, at least it happened at my folks house. A place where they actually have meat tenderizer to put on a flaming foot. If it had happened at my place, all I could have done is rolled around on the floor moaning and damning all stinging insects. But as it was the pain, though excruciating lasted only 10 minutes or so. But thank you, Universe. I get the point.