Vegging out

Okay. Well, it’s New Years Resolution time again. 2010 was the Year of Small Meals. And I would call this year a draw at moderately successful. I did pretty okay, but you know sometimes that thing called “life” would happen and some days were better than others. But I was pretty could about jumping back in the saddle every time I fell off. And that’s okay in my book. Of course, the Lent thing, which was supposed to be temporary pretty much stuck to me like glue. I’m about 85% off high processed foods. And I’m feeling pretty good (though I’m feeling pretty pissed about feeling pretty good – life was a lot easier when I could eat Lantz peanut butter crackers at will).

So. The diet thing has been working for me for resolutions of short or long duration. Dammit. I think there’s one I need to work on. The generally accepted recommendation of 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day. Dude. That is not easy. Especially given that I don’t like vegetables.

So here’s the plan. I’m going to have as a goal that by the end of March I will be hitting the 5 a day. But if it’s 5 pieces of fruit that’s okay. Then by the end of the year, I will be eating at least 3 vegetables and 2 fruits a day. And I’m not going to p**** out like some people do by counting dried beans. That’s just weak. Real actual vegetables like zucchini. Shudder. And I’m actually going to keep track of things, and chart my progress. Accountability!!

And, gawd as my witness, I will figure out a way to like vegetables. And vegetables for their own sake. Not just as a convenient method for ingesting cheese, sour cream and bacon (though one friend made brussel sprouts with bacon for Thanksgiving – you could hardly taste the sprouts). My Mom used to threaten my brother and I that if we didn’t stop fighting she was going to find a rope and tie us together kissing until we loved each other. Maybe if I tie myself to an eggplant I’ll have some sort of vegetable epiphany. I hope it doesn’t come to that.

About face!

Okay, to protect the innocent (not me in this instance) I’m going to have to be oblique. Possibly this will make the overall story pretty incomprehensible. But when has that ever stopped me before? We’ll just see what happens.

Anyway. I hate it when I have to revise my opinions on people. I don’t make snap judgments. Well, rarely. But when I’ve formed my opinion, I just want things to stay that way. I especially hate it when I’ve decided not to like someone, and then have to about face and like them. A little.

Basically, someone unexpected did me a solid. And now I’m kind of forced to like them. Huff. Not that it was actual dislike in the first place, mind you. I’d just decided to not form any sort of temperature for toward them. Neither warm nor cold. Sort of like the San Diego of opinions. Then came the solid. Well, poop. Now I’m going to have to like you. A little. Not more than a little. And I’m just not budging on that.

Because that whole like/dislike axis colors everything about how you take in information about a person. When you like someone, you give them a Mulligan on anything they do. You just assume that it came from a good place and they had good intentions. But if someone you dislike does the same thing, you assume that there is some dastardly ulterior motive. Honestly, when Dick Cheney is supportive of the lesbian daughter, don’t you kind of suspect that there’s some kind of nasty endgame there? Like maybe he’s going to bring down P-Flag from the inside.

So, somebody did something nice, for which I can find no possible ulterior motive. So now, the like. A little. Now I’m going to have to give the benefit of the doubt all the time. Huff, huff, huff. This is why I don’t automatically like many people. It’s nothing but work, work, work after that.

But forget it, Dick. I’m just not going to give in on you. You could donate your kidney to an Iraqi orphan and be a guest judge on Rupaul’s Drag Race. I’m just not budging.