Possibly not the part of the article they wanted me to take away, but . . .
"You can catch the flu if you're within about six feet of a sick person — otherwise known as the "breathing space" — who coughs or sneezes on you, and a small amount of the virus can survive on inanimate surfaces."
I am now declaring a 6 foot zone of airspace between me and anyone who looks even the tiniest bit peaky. No one who feels less than 100% can violate said airspace. Here are the rules for what will now be referred to as Bubble Of Optimized Breathing Zone:
- If you have a scratchy throat, you should avoid contact with my BOOBZ.
- If you have an inexplicable craving for a ham sandwich, you are not allowed near my BOOBZ.
- If have not washed your hands, don't even think about touching my BOOBZ.
- If you have traveled to Mexico within the last 10 days, you should consider my BOOBZ completely off limits, unless you have proof of a clean bill of health from a physician.
Thank you for observing these elementary precautions. I know we all look forward to the time when this crisis has passed, and can resume normal BOOBZ access. We're all in this together.
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