In response to being located in one of the states with verified cases of H1N1 swine influenza, and anticipating a Phase 4 declaration from the CDC, I am currently invoking a level 3 containment protocol, and am declaring this blog an anti-viral zone. Please don a surgical mask and scrub your entire body with Bath & Body Works anti-bacterial soap before reading this blog. If you are going to post a comment, please upgrade your precautions to wearing a full haz-mat suit, chewing on a bar of Lava soap and reviewing an entire season of ER or one episode of General Hospital in which Dr. Noah Drake appears.
Guess I’m not as freaked out about the swine flu as I was about bird flu. Possibly another instance of my wing phobia. Now if was flying pig flu I’d be in a real panic. But more than likely it’s just that I’m burnt out on worrying about communicable nasties. Bird flu, mumps, mad cow, boy cooties (actually, I haven’t worried about boy cooties since first grade, but I think the CDC is reviewing that one). It’s not like me to miss out on a good medical scare. But I just can seem to muster much flap on this one.
I think I’m just going to buy a couple bottles of Gatorade and a box of Kleenex and call it good. Though I am kind of tempted by those new “warming” over-the-counter flu medications. I’m not precisely sure of what that means. But I’d almost be willing to lick a sick pig to find out.
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8 comments:
Since I just got over the flu with these SAME symptoms - I'm hoping I'm immune or something.
I do need to re-stock on the Gatorade though - thanks for the reminder! Now to hunt down some surgical masks.
I attribute the time I survived a killer flu to the fact that I had put a bottle of Gatorade next to the catch before I got too weak to get up. Not generally a sports-drink fan, but it definitely helps when I'm bad sick.
Do you suppose they have a pattern for surgical masks on a craft site? Maybe something with a ruffle, or in a kicky print.
I bet they do - anything nurses have to wear ona daily basis will inevitably get spiced up.
You know, I bet you're right. Those nurses are always looking for something jazzy.
They just raised the threat level to a 5 - my co-worker who worked on this kind of stuff for the DC Dept. of Health said the threat level only goes to SIX.
All I know is I survived the Big C and I do not plan on being taken down by a flu named after a pig. It is NOT going to happen. (Meanwhile, I will wash my hands constantly and avoid large crowds).
BTW, I have plenty of surgical masks and plastic gloves leftover from NIH. I will sell you some for $500! It's all about supply and demand.
Piggie Flu has already heard how you kicked Priscilla's ass, and is giving you a wide berth.
I bought Gatorade, TheraFlu, Kleenex and cherry Luden's last night. I have them stored in my linen closet for easy access. And I've been washing my little hands like a fiend. And I fully intend to die in bed at the age of 83 with my pool boy. Dying of swine flu now would just be anti-climactic (tee hee).
Don't you first have to get a pool? ;)
I'm with you. I intend to live to be 86 - that's the pact I made after I kicked silly old Priscilla in the rear.
Listen hear, swine flu, I like pigs. I even have a cute pink, stuffed pig in my cubicle with her own tiara. She's our proposal pig mascot. See, I'm your friend. Plus Ms. FirePhrase is right - you don't want to mess with me. I killed cancer.
A pool? Details, details.
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