Fair Warning: Contains the "H" word, don't read during lunch

So, I had to change to cable tv. (And will be soon changing to another provider. What a freaking nightmare this has been. I won't say the name publically, but if I have the Time I'll call my mother to Warn her about the terrible Cable service.) And it's always interesting to see the different commericals you get on a different provider. I notice the service that I signed up with (and terminated with extreme prejudice this morning) has a lot more local commericals, which I do enjoy (and will miss, as they take their stinking equipment - patooie). They have an indie quality that is kind of refreshing.

What I don't enjoy is that apparently they think their subscribers have a lot of sexually transmitted diseases. And they want to sell them medicine for it. During dinner. A lot.

Granted, I usually eat dinner at 7:30, which is later than some. But earlier than others. I don't think it's an unreasonable time to have a forzen burrito and watch a little boob tube. But it's kind of hard to do when I get 3 commercials for herpes medication in a half hour. And they don't just say herpes once. "Do you have herpes? Val-Herpe-Trix is for the treatment of the herpes virus. It will not prevent a herpes outbreak. You should not have unprotected sex when you have herpes lesions. Val-Herpe-Trix will not prevent the spread of herpes. Herpes. Herpes. Herpes." Stop saying herpes!!!! I'm trying to eat here! And also, don't say lesions! And aren't you supposed to whisper herpes? Like - herpes. Quit sounding so freaking upbeat about the whole thing.

I'm not saying that herpes is shameful or anything. I'm just saying that it's not something that needs to be talked about while I'm trying to enjoy a microwavable Mexican entree. You can say it. Just keep it on the DL. Limit your audience. Like, say, if you had 3 testicles. It's not something you need to tell everybody. Just your doctor, and whoever might see you with your pants off.

And if you must advertise your herpes medication, here is the acceptable commercial script "Do you have herpes? Ask your Doctor about Val-Herpe-Trix." That's it. No more talkey. And you can show a picture of a sunset. Or a field of flowers. And you can only play it between 9:00 pm and 3:00 am.