Ding - a - ling

So, I was riding the DART train up to the Wildflower Fest. I was only going a couple of stops so I was standing. There was a couple seated next to me. Kind of your average American looking couple.

On the train they have those “stop request” strips. On a bus, you push the strip and in lights up a panel so that the driver knows somebody wants off at the next stop. On the DART, they don’t do anything, but are still functional. Hitting one is usually a rookie mistake for a new rider.

Or, if you’re a bit of an idiot, you hit it a few times to tease your significant other.

If you’re a GIANT idiot with distinct douche bag leanings, you jam on it for 3 and a half minutes, while you grin at her like a demented lemur. (And as a side note, you have no idea just how long 3 minutes is until you've heard ding-ding-ding-ding from station to station.)

There is absolutely no shame in being a bit of an idiot. Everybody does it every once in awhile. I’m sure even Hugh Jackman has his bit of an idiot moments. And if your SO has one of these moments, you smile, say “You’re an idiot” and then make him hold your purse at the mall in revenge. That’s how you make a relationship work.

But if you’re SO is a GIANT grinning lemur of an idiot, I just don’t understand how you make that work. What kind of personality traits could he possibly have that could make up for that kind of behavior? My instinct was to turn to her and say “Get out. Get out now.” Cause if your man is willing to embarrass you like that by acting like a 200 lb. 2-year old in public, in front of God and mass transit riders, and gives you the malicious grin while doing it . . . not good.

Maybe people are right and I’m too picky. Maybe this is why I’m still single. But frankly, I wouldn’t be having it. But if it means I wouldn’t have to put up with 40 odd years of this kind of thing, I’ll own it.