Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Eye Witness News

So, yesterday I'm leaving my office building when I'm nearly run over at the door by a fireman carrying a giant axe. I was so startled by the giant axe that I couldn't even tell you if it was a cute fireman or not. That's how scared I was.

So I automatically switch into fluffy bunny mode. I'm looking at everything going on in the street, sniffing for smoke and making sure I've got an escape route. I saw about 8 fire department vehicles circling the building. And a bunch of firemen. Looking at the front door of the building. Then looking at the top of the building. Looking at me. Looking at the front of the building. I spotted my escape route and hopped to it, quick like a bunny. As I heard more fire sirens arriving. Are they looking up to see smoke? Or is there somebody trying to jump? Seriously, I don't want to get hit by flaming debris, or a body falling off of a tall building (and thank you sooooo much M. Night Shyamalan for that little image that is being broadcast in the "every hour on the hour" commercial for The Happening. You little prick.)

My personal philosophy in that kind of situation is that "she who clucks and runs away, lives to cluck another day." If I see a situation developing, I feel like all parties are served by me skeedaddling as quickly as possible. It is highly unlikely that the fire department is going to want my help with a fire hose. And if I'm not standing around, I can't become an "innocent bystander". Discretion truly can be the better part of valor. This is of course completely different from a situation in which I could actually be of assistance. The cluck and run policy is null and void when people are in need. But otherwise, I believe in clearing the scene. Looky-loos are just a nuisance.

I did do the only thing I thought was helpful, in that I called the one person that I knew was still in the office and told him to pay attention if there was a fire alarm. But I did it from a safe distance. Okay, sure, I might miss all the excitement that way. But then, I also miss all the excitement that way. Hit by flaming debris is exciting, but not in a good way.

4 comments:

WashingtonGardener said...

So what happened - was someone locked in the executive bathroom?

FirePhrase said...

This morning, I asked the guy who was still here last night, and he said they got on the PA and said it was a false alarm. Seems like a lot of hoo-hah for a false alarm. Maybe it's a cover up. Or maybe the firemen were bored. Who knows?

victory4angela said...

Maybe they were there, looking for you and you left the building. You missed your chance with a cute firefighter!

FirePhrase said...

Hmmm. The idea of being carried out of the building by a burly firefighter has a certain appeal. But I'm afraid my flight mechanism was a little too strong. Danger! Must leave nooooooowwwww!

TIME: Quotes of the Day