This is a fine point of mass-transit etiquette that I haven’t yet figured out. How old does someone need to be before you offer them your seat?
Okay, if somebody looks like an applehead doll, and is swaying on their orthopedic clad feet while clutching their walker, I got it. Please, allow me. That’s easy.
But there’s a whole age range in their where once upon a time, people would claim the droit de senior. They’ve been on the planet, and dang it, get your smooth bottom up and surrender the seat. But now, people are touchy about their age. They’d rather get carded (which bears no real tangible benefit) than offered the senior discount (hellz yeah, 15% discount). And now that I’m kind of, if not within spitting distance of AARP, then at least at a point where I can imagine that happening, it might seem a little smarmy to be the one to get up. Like I think I’m some kind of sweet young thing. But the real sweet young things rarely seem to be aware that this is something they are supposed to do.
And men and women are kind of different on this issue. For a woman, I’m implying that I suspect that she’s “old” if I offer my seat. Bitch. We women can be really touchy about this. And for men, it’s not so much the age per se. It’s more that you’re implying that he’s feeble. Not big strong man. That kind of pinches.
I’ve kind of decided that the 60 to 65 zone is the hardest. They may be just standing there, minding their own business, not even thinking that they should be offered a seat. And then I come along “Here you go, granny. Take a load off.” One second they’re vibrant and middle-aged. The next they’re little, old people. OR they could be standing there deploring the raggedy manners of people today. And thinking, “You bet your ass you should be getting up for me.” Regardless of whether they feel like they “need” to sit down or not.
Maybe they should start wearing buttons. It would be a whole lot easier to be polite if I knew who I needed to be polite to.
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2 comments:
Exactly - some folks are grateful at 50 - others deeply offended at 65.
I was offered a seat on a very crowded bus last week by a young black gentleman -- I did not take it as an age judgement though - more like pity in that I was balancing two large bags and he as getting off soon.
Think he did it just right - observe if they NEED a seat and then offer.
I try not to get huffy when I'm offered a seat under any circumstances. Sometimes I'd just prefer to stand, and decline with a smile. It's just easier to assume that they were being kind and not condescending. But some people have a hair trigger on their huffy.
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