I'll just say it - Boldly Go

Okay, I’m going to try very, very hard to give a decent summary of Star Trek, without giving anything away. A tall order. But I HAVE to talk about it. So here we go, in as non-spoilery way as I can be without sounding like my blog has been redacted by the CIA. I think I can do this, but if you want to keep your brain pristine until you’ve been to the mountain, come on back after you’ve seen it for yourself.

So, anyhoo.

As far as re-boots go, this one is nearly pitch-perfect. It re-introduces the ‘verse, establishes a very capable ensemble cast, keeps the plot humming along, and wows your eyeballs more than once. The opening sequence is a flawless, complete short story. If you’re standing on the edge wondering if you’re going to jump for this movie, it kicks your ass right over the cliff. And the special effects serve the story, rather than wagging the dog. This is fully integrated sci-fi, that is more than bang-bang-boom-boom, but still has plenty of bang. And if you are familiar with Trek lore, there are plenty of little tasty treats spread out through out the movie that will keep you snack happy.

And though this is truly an ensemble cast, three notes (and I’m getting close to the spoily boundary here, but just trust me): Karl Urban – damn, boy, who knew you were capable of that? You pulled off a truly original Spock insult that actually sounded like it came out of DeForest Kelly’s mouth. Kudos. Simon Pegg – I feel completely vindicated in my early support of your casting. I think the warp engines are in safe hands. Chris Pine – I was willing to be convinced, though not initially enthusiastic. But there was a minute when you sat in the Captain’s chair . . .

This movie not perfect. There is one character that just stinks of JarJar Binks. And Winona Ryder? Huh? Was this some sort of 6 Degrees of Christian Slater thing? And does Chekov always have to annoy the spit out of me? Always? And not for nothing, did somebody lose a bet to cast the young Jim Kirk? On the child actor appeal scale, this kid is no Haley Joel Osment. In fact, he’s no Danny Bonaduce. We’re talking Cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch. And lastly . . . the eyebrows, people. The eyebrows.

If you’re thinking you will, go as soon as possible. There are things that could very easily be totally ruined for you, and you will feel betrayed and angry. I don’t want that for you. Either beat the babbling crowds or invoke an inviolable shell of silence that will be penetrated only under the threat of swift and sure violence.