Tuesday, April 21, 2009

In Praise of the Natural Man

Well, I’ve done the investigative work. And I’m afraid it’s true. I went to the New York Times write up of Blithe Spirit, which has a slide show of pictures from the show. And upon a close review of the evidence, it appears that Rupert Everett is now . . . smooth. What a tragedy.

I don’t know what those plastic surgeons tell people: “Oh, yes, Rupert, I know you’ve seen other people who’ve had major revisions who look like gargoyles. But that’s other surgeons. That’s other patients. But between you and I, my friend, it will be magic. You’ll look 10 years younger. 20! It will be FAB-u-lous.”

No. Not fabulous. Freaky. And not the good kind of freaky.

And it’s almost worse when men get the plastic surgery. It makes them look like women. And I don’t mean that as “effeminate”. Effeminate is fine. I mean feminine. Gyno. Like a woman. With man parts. EEEEuuuuh.

And I understand that being gay and a performer, Rupert may feel some additional pressure to keep up appearances, as it were. But I think same rule applies to anyone who has work done – tweaks! Only tweaks. Did we learn nothing from Michael Douglas? People should whisper, “You look so rested. Did you go on “vacation”?”. Not blurt out “What did you do to your face?”

And really, I’d much prefer to see little to nothing done at all done to a man. What’s wrong with a lived in face? You don’t get a wonderfully rumpled, sexy face like he had working on your counted cross-stitch replica of the Bayeux Tapestry and sipping chamomile tea. You get it doing body shots off a cabana boy. You get it thinking deep thoughts. You get it from knowing. You get a lived in face by LIVING.

But, what’s done is done. Once the historic house is torn down, it can never be built again. Authenticity is gone. It’s time to mourn, and move on. Let us turn our attention to preservation. Let’s stop the madness before anymore of our living monuments are razed. If I hear of a good looking older man thinking of plastic surgery, I’m going to chain myself to him until he comes to his senses. Hell, no, we won’t Bo! Hell, no, we won’t Bo!

2 comments:

WashingtonGardener said...

He was on Martha few weeks back and I kept staring at him as I did not recognize him AT ALL -- she was calling him "Rupert Everrett" but she's called guests by wrong names before sO I was like "Is this another Rupert? who is this guy?" Serriously, I could not figure it out - now that you break the Plastic Surgery news - I'm relieved it explains at least some of it.

FirePhrase said...

When you are completely unrecognizable after surgery, that is not good news. I'd think especially for an actor. Lest we forget - Jennifer Grey.

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