I'm so having an 80s flashback. First, the new Indiana Jones movie, with Karen Allen no less. I'm having such an overwhelming urge to buy a Harrison Ford poster to put on my door so that I can kiss it every time I leave. (Call me, Indy! We'll make out!) I don't know what Allie McBeal is doing to keep him fit, but kudos to her.
Second, I'm going to see Huey Lewis & the News at a street festival in Arkansas this weekend. We're talking about a girl who knew the entire Sports album, backwards and forwards (stop judging me!!). I see much 80s dancing in the next 48 hours. Yes, it's true, the heart of rock and roll believes in love.
Third, I'm finding my late 30s to be My Awkward Years 2.0. I feel goofy, weird, awkward, silly, jumpy, anxious, giggly, moody. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm like one big John Hughes movie. One big, old John Hughes movie. And I'm not somebody who looks back at my teen years with excessive fondness. Not my glory days. But here I am again. Shouldn't I be too old for this crap?
It's all conspiring to plummet me into my misspent teen years. I feel a need to eat Jolly Ranchers and feather my hair. I feel the need to buy a linen look jacket and push the sleeves up. I feel the need to crank call someone. I feel the need to have a slumber party and stay up to 2:00 am eating french onion dip straight out of the tub and talking about boys. Oh, crap. I think I feel a zit coming on.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Moto Cop
And I thought I had enough trouble taking bicycle cops seriously. Lookie lookie at what the Dallas cops are toodling around downtown on. I just started giggling when I saw these little scoobies parked outside a restaurant. I haven't seen anyone humming along on one, but I'm reliably informed that it's a really special sight. And, why, yes, that is a bicycle helmet hanging from the handlebars. Just to complete the image.
I understand the need to keep up with the times. But, fer real, Dallas has too many chubby cops to be able to excuse these things. Some of them verge on the, if you'll forgive the word, porky. Walking a beat wouldn't hurt them any. Maybe they should be earning the name "flat foot", instead of zipping around town on grandma's Hum-a-Round.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Out, out damn germs
Okay, long story short. The gal who doesn't wash her hands handed me something.
It's true. The world does slow down in that sort of situation. I could see it coming toward me. Growing larger and larger as my eyes focused on it plummeting toward me. I got tunnel vision. The blood rushed in my ears. Oh, god, what do I do? What do I do?
I took it of course. She seems like a nice lady. And screaming and smacking the object to the ground would seem to be a bit of an over reaction. Just a smidge. Do I touch ookie stuff all day every day? Prolly. People do nasty stuff all the time out of my line of sight. And lord knows what you touch just going about your day. But generally, I am unaware of the proximal cause of any ookiness. And if I might as well lick a petri dish as touch that door handle, I'd just rather not know. Ignorance is, if not bliss, at the very least not anxiety provoking.
It's true. The world does slow down in that sort of situation. I could see it coming toward me. Growing larger and larger as my eyes focused on it plummeting toward me. I got tunnel vision. The blood rushed in my ears. Oh, god, what do I do? What do I do?
I took it of course. She seems like a nice lady. And screaming and smacking the object to the ground would seem to be a bit of an over reaction. Just a smidge. Do I touch ookie stuff all day every day? Prolly. People do nasty stuff all the time out of my line of sight. And lord knows what you touch just going about your day. But generally, I am unaware of the proximal cause of any ookiness. And if I might as well lick a petri dish as touch that door handle, I'd just rather not know. Ignorance is, if not bliss, at the very least not anxiety provoking.
Warp speed!
http://science.howstuffworks.com/antimatter.htm
Okay, keeping in mind that as I read this article, I got to the part where they said positrons, and it was like, "Okay, dude, I'm out." I might as well have been banging on my head with a Van's tennis shoe. But what I did take away is that I might actually live to see long-distance space travel. Nuh-uh!
I had long ago given up any expectations that I'd live to see any of the truly cool stuff from sci-fi. I mean if I hadn't given up my Jetsons dreams, I'd be really crushed right now that I don't have a flying car and a robot maid to do my dishes. Actually, world weariness aside, I'm still kind of crushed about that. Yeah, we've got cell phones, but that's not exactly a transporter is it? And sure, you can get an electric car, but it's not exactly rocket pack. And when I was a kid, this was all going to happen in the future. Like 2010. And do I have a light saber? No.
But this, which is really bigger than all the rest, might happen. We might have the capability for inter-stellar travel before I die. Carl Sagan must be Rockette kicking in his grave. And as Mr. Spock might tell you, the first thing we should be looking for is a nice class M planet. We've kind of effed up the one we've got. The chance to use an antimatter drive to get off this rock can't come soon enough.
Okay, keeping in mind that as I read this article, I got to the part where they said positrons, and it was like, "Okay, dude, I'm out." I might as well have been banging on my head with a Van's tennis shoe. But what I did take away is that I might actually live to see long-distance space travel. Nuh-uh!
I had long ago given up any expectations that I'd live to see any of the truly cool stuff from sci-fi. I mean if I hadn't given up my Jetsons dreams, I'd be really crushed right now that I don't have a flying car and a robot maid to do my dishes. Actually, world weariness aside, I'm still kind of crushed about that. Yeah, we've got cell phones, but that's not exactly a transporter is it? And sure, you can get an electric car, but it's not exactly rocket pack. And when I was a kid, this was all going to happen in the future. Like 2010. And do I have a light saber? No.
But this, which is really bigger than all the rest, might happen. We might have the capability for inter-stellar travel before I die. Carl Sagan must be Rockette kicking in his grave. And as Mr. Spock might tell you, the first thing we should be looking for is a nice class M planet. We've kind of effed up the one we've got. The chance to use an antimatter drive to get off this rock can't come soon enough.
Wow, this tastes funny
Sometimes multi-tasking is a bad thing.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080520/ap_on_sc/florida_artifacts;_ylt=Ajb3_NR.YCHHCh4lWrRE9vEPLBIF
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080520/ap_on_sc/florida_artifacts;_ylt=Ajb3_NR.YCHHCh4lWrRE9vEPLBIF
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