Monday, December 8, 2008

Side effects may include . . .

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081208/ap_on_he_me/med_brain_pills;_ylt=An7QkFCoNygWtctcBmVzSQJvzwcF

This always induces one of my Dr. McCoy moments. You know, the episodes of Star Trek where good ol’ Len McCoy would crank about not liking having his atoms scattered all over the universe, thank you very much. Oh, Bones, you contrary old country doctor, how you fuss. Of course you’d take the transporter because it’s the fastest most efficient way to get planet-side. What do you want to do? Take the shuttle craft down, ya silly? All the cool kids are jumping on the big dots on the floor (in triangle formation) and sparkling off to glory and adventure. And you’re worrying about your molecules. You can’t be afraid of the new technology.

Well, actually, frequently I am. Especially when it comes in pill form. But I really start to feel like I’m being an old silly because the side effects that come with a lot of the new miracle drugs sound worse than the cure. I have migraines, but the current most prescribed migraine medicine has side effect that list up to and including heart attack and seizure. I’ll just keep the headaches, thanks.

But drugs to make you smarter. Hmmm. That’s a tough one. I wouldn’t mind being a little brighter. I would love to be able to do math in my head and understand string theory. And if there was a little bitty pill that would make me sharper, why would I be an old silly about that? First of all, because I’ve seen every sci-fi movie and tv show where scientists administer intelligence drugs, and the person becomes a genius, then the drugs fail, and the person knows their going to not be a genius any more, then they end up wearing overalls and backwards baseball caps in a group home and smiling a lot and not even remembering that they used to be a genius. Or dead.

Okay, yeah. I might be acting like a cranky old country doctor on this one, and getting upset about something all the cool kids will be doing. I could end up being stupid about something that could help me, especially in contrast to everybody else who has been popping genius pills. But I don’t trust the drug companies to come up with a pill that’s side effects aren’t worse than being plain old average dumb.

2 comments:

WashingtonGardener said...

Well. the ones they are discussing ARE addictive -- so if you don't mind HAVING to take them even if you want to stop, those are for you. Personally, I put legal speed in the same category with plastic surgery - not for me, but I see the attraction and really don't like when others do not - but hey, it is their body - let them ruin it.

FirePhrase said...

Actually, if it all went right and I was the dumbest person on the planet because everybody else is on smart pills, I'd be totally behind that. If, however, all the sudden, I became the smartest person on the planet because the little pills stopped working . . . not good.

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