Thursday, October 30, 2008

But you SAID . . .

Some days, I’d just like to pick up my mouse by its tail and just start whacking my computer around the head like a drunk pirate with a brand new cat o' nine tails.

You know that thing where you want to yell, “Do what I want you to do, not what I tell you to do?” You make one tiny wrong little click and it futzes up the whole thing. And you’ve done that thing right a million times before. The computer knew what you wanted. It just is in a pissy mood and decides to do what you told it to do. You know. Just to piss you off.

It’s like when you tell a kid, to share. Then they look at you with big, round, innocent eyes – “You said to share the Snickers with Jimmy. So I gave him the wrapper. What? That was part.” Oh, you knew exactly what I meant, young man. Don’t hand me that.

So you ask the computer for the Accounts report. And it gives you the Accounts report. All 4,000 pages of it. Instead of the 14 pages tiny section of the Accounts report that you always ask for. Every time. You never want the entire Accounts report. Nobody wants the entire Accounts report. It’s 4,000 pages. And it makes no difference that, yes, you did ask for it. But the computer knew that’s not what you meant. It’s just being a weasel. Don’t hand me that! You knew what I meant!

2 comments:

WashingtonGardener said...

No, I do not know what you mean., I have NEVER done that - really, how can you hit a wrong key? I mean, aren't they CLEARLY labeled.

LOL - puh-lease - if computers start reading minds I'll be done for - as I'm typing one thing, it will all of a sudden be off and surfing the latest True Blood chat boards.

FirePhrase said...

Hmmm. Interesting idea. A computer that knows what you really want. "I know you're doing your taxes, but here are 30 pictures of Hugh Jackman to look at instead. You're welcome."

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