I know it.

http://www.salon.com/life/since_you_asked/2011/04/17/know_it_all_sister/index.html

Okay, this column from Since You Asked really hit a note with me. Not because I have to deal with know-it-alls. It’s because I am a recovering know-it-all. Yeah, I know. You’re shocked.

It’s something I’ve struggled with for years. I think I was in college when I realized the extent of the problem. How much it just really turns people off. I had this sort of out of body experience where I just kind of saw myself. And was truly appalled. I think I was a little tipsy at the time, and I tend to get that sort of two personality thing. One is the drunk girl, and one is the sober sister who can kind of see the nonsense but not do anything to stop it. And I was kind of freaked out to see how pushy I was with my mouth. And you know, once you notice something, you see it all the time. I was a k-i-a all the time. Yikes.

It happens. I’m naturally hyper-verbal. Damn close to being a verbal ninja. And I have this in-born need to absorb information, synthesize, then disseminate. It’s kind of who I am. College didn’t help either. As an English major, you’re taught to present your ideas confidently. Eliminate the “I thinks” and present your thesis assertively. If you don’t believe you, who else will? The example I always give is “I think you’re an asshole” doesn’t work nearly as well as “You’re an asshole.” Positive assertion. Which is fine when you’re presenting a thesis about the role of the fool in Shakespearean drama. Not so much when you’re just shooting the shit with friends.

So, I had to learn to shut up. I had to learn that I could learn from other people. That I could hear other opinions and just let them stand, whether I agree or not. If somebody uses the word forte incorrectly, I don’t actually have to correct them, and then give the linguistic reason why I’M RIGHT AND YOU’RE WRONG. Just shut up. And of course, then you start to take joy in listening to other people. There's a world of things you can learn with your mouth shut and your ears open. Of course, then I’m also going to want to take that information, synthesize and disseminate. But gently. Gently.

I’m always going to be recovering. Being a know-it-all is in my DNA. I might even be able to point, ahem, at some family members who have the same issue (in fact, play spin the bottle at a family reunion and you’re more likely than not going to hit one). But I try. Every day. Some days are better than others. But all you can do is try.