Thursday, April 14, 2011

Catherine Zeta-Jones has a bigger set than Charlie Sheen

I’m going to take advantage of the Catherine Zeta-Jones thing to take another whack at Charlie Sheen. Why not?

The first thing I thought when they reported that she’d checked herself into a treatment center for a check-up on her bipolar II was “good for you, honey.” There is no shame in having bipolar. And in fact, being honest and proactive about your treatment is to be admired. CZ-J is obviously someone who can handle her shit. I don’t particularly care for her acting, but for this alone she may be my second favorite hyphenated Brit.

Compare this with Charlie Sheen, the Old Man River of De-Nile. He seems to have an allergy to handling his shit. And doesn’t he seem pretty bipolar? He stops self-medicating and goes straight up manic. I’d be willing to bet that there’s a big ass depression lurking in his very near future, if he stays off the coke. And doesn’t own his drama. Topamax. It's not as fun at a party as coke, but it's legal. And, unlike coke, it will actually keep you from acting a fool.

Frankly, I have two words for him – Randy and Quaid. If Sheen doesn’t watch himself, he could end up in Canada freaking because he thinks the men in black are using his toothbrush to control his thoughts. And that, my friends, is a violent torpedo of truth.

2 comments:

glorm said...

That's being far too practical for Charlie.

Gary Busey seems to have gotten, at least part of, his act together. But Charlie--don't anyone hold your breath.

FirePhrase said...

You know, Busey was on Celebrity Rehab. And it seemed that a lot of his improvement came after he realized that he had a processing disorder (probably a combination of adult ADD, past drug use and traumatic brain injury) and that he wasn't being perceived as he intended (which is like a loon). His brain just works different, and it can come off assholey when he doesn't intend it that way. I don't think he's ever going to be everybody's cup of tea, but he seems to be able to connect better with people when he gets a chance. And he's never seemed to give up on improving himself. Good for him.

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