Okay, I'm starting to feel kind of bad.
Undermain Theater here in Dallas has my phone number because I bought tickets to see Euridyce there. And they've been calling me. Hi, we've got a show that's closing this week, and we wanted to invite you to see it before it closes, we're really excited, people like you are the reason that theaters are able to do what we do . . . The little guy just seems so sweet, and so eager. He is like a marketing secret weapon. He just sounds so sincere.
And I'm starting to feel bad for referring to the place as Behind-a-pole Theater. Seeing as when I did go see Euridyce, I ended up behind a giant 3-foot around column that blocked about 20% of my view. And if coming up with a snippy little nickname is a fairly understandable reaction to my lousy seating arrangements, it also not what one would call charitable given the plucky, not-for-profit, let's-put-on-a-show thing those kids got going on. I'm a bitch.
And I've been making excuses to poor little Richard, puppy sweet though he seems, about bad timing and busy schedules. Yadayada. Big fat liar. I just don't want to sit behind a goddamn Ionic view-blocker again. I do get it. A certain amount of inconvenience is part of the funky/groovy/indie arts thing. I'm just not that cool. But, nice try though with the direct dial ticket sales campaign. As far as it goes, guilt is not a bad marketing scheme. Better luck next time. I do feel bad enough that I'll stop calling them the Cantseeathing Theater.
I even feel bad enough to offer him money to make him go away. But giving money to performers just encourages them. And I can't tell him outright that their venue is less than entirely desirable. I don't entirely want to burn the bridge. If they come up with a show that's so good that it's worth only seeing 80% of, I'll go again. I'll just deal with the guilt until then.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Drop it like a bad habit
Saturday, when I was at the movies, the friend who was with me asked afterwards "That wasn't you banging the chairs the whole time was it?" And it wasn't. But I did admit that it was one of my worst habits as a teenager. Whenever I was nervous (which given who I was in those days was about 75 to 80 percent of the time), I'd bounce my knees. It would get really bad during timed tests (tool of Satan), but just being in an unfamiliar place could do it. It took years to stop. Haven't done the jumping bean routine in almost 20 years.
Until I start doing it again this week. I've looked at my desk or a table bumping away, and wondered what could be making that happen? Oh. Me. Possibly because my body all the sudden remembered what it used to do - "Oh, hey! I remember that. Good times." Damn. The thing about nervous habits is, they make you more nervous, not less. I know this. And for chrissakes, what do I have to be nervous about? Chill the F out.
The knee bouncing is one childhood habit where I could have happily skipped the return. Of course, the nail biting, verbal repetition and the lip chewing were no holly jolly Christmas either. I really was a mess. I had weeded most of those down to just rubbing my right ear when I get nervous or uncomfortable. Which is why I never play poker with my sister. Talk about an obvious tell. And she picks up on it every time.
Yeah, well, if all my little neurotic tics think they're going to make a comeback, they can just ferr get it. I kicked their collective asses once, and I can do it again. I may be older now. But I fight much dirtier.
Until I start doing it again this week. I've looked at my desk or a table bumping away, and wondered what could be making that happen? Oh. Me. Possibly because my body all the sudden remembered what it used to do - "Oh, hey! I remember that. Good times." Damn. The thing about nervous habits is, they make you more nervous, not less. I know this. And for chrissakes, what do I have to be nervous about? Chill the F out.
The knee bouncing is one childhood habit where I could have happily skipped the return. Of course, the nail biting, verbal repetition and the lip chewing were no holly jolly Christmas either. I really was a mess. I had weeded most of those down to just rubbing my right ear when I get nervous or uncomfortable. Which is why I never play poker with my sister. Talk about an obvious tell. And she picks up on it every time.
Yeah, well, if all my little neurotic tics think they're going to make a comeback, they can just ferr get it. I kicked their collective asses once, and I can do it again. I may be older now. But I fight much dirtier.
To quote Oscar Wilde: I can resist anything but temptation
He was pure as snow. Then he drifted.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/06/AR2009050603897.html
Let me just say, categorically, inspite of anything I may have said, in jest, regarding the obvious attractions of Father Cutie - It wasn't me. My hands never left my wrists. And his hands were never in my bikini bottoms.
This defines the line between "things you say" and "things you do". The things you say are "ha ha". The things you do can end up a "Ha-whoa, no." You can read The Thorn Birds. You shouldn't live The Thorn Birds. That's just a whole world of mess.
And, girl, you goin' straight to hell. Don't mess with the collar.
And speaking of that collar, if the Catholic church isn't going to rethink it's position of on celibacy, it really should re-think the uniform. Cause, let's be real. It's kind of hot. You take even an ordinary looking guy, stick him in all black with a pop of white, and you have one attractive nuisance. It's like bringing out a t-bone and saying "You can look at it. You can smell it. But don't eat it." That's just mean.
Why don't they make all priests wear those monk robes? Baggy, brown burlap tied up with a rope? That's a hard look to pull off, let alone look sexy in. And on the really good looking ones you can pull the hood on 'em. Outta sight, outta mind. Lead me not into temptation.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/06/AR2009050603897.html
Let me just say, categorically, inspite of anything I may have said, in jest, regarding the obvious attractions of Father Cutie - It wasn't me. My hands never left my wrists. And his hands were never in my bikini bottoms.
This defines the line between "things you say" and "things you do". The things you say are "ha ha". The things you do can end up a "Ha-whoa, no." You can read The Thorn Birds. You shouldn't live The Thorn Birds. That's just a whole world of mess.
And, girl, you goin' straight to hell. Don't mess with the collar.
And speaking of that collar, if the Catholic church isn't going to rethink it's position of on celibacy, it really should re-think the uniform. Cause, let's be real. It's kind of hot. You take even an ordinary looking guy, stick him in all black with a pop of white, and you have one attractive nuisance. It's like bringing out a t-bone and saying "You can look at it. You can smell it. But don't eat it." That's just mean.
Why don't they make all priests wear those monk robes? Baggy, brown burlap tied up with a rope? That's a hard look to pull off, let alone look sexy in. And on the really good looking ones you can pull the hood on 'em. Outta sight, outta mind. Lead me not into temptation.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
When voters say "yes", but their ayes say "no"
I’m only aware of this because I work in downtown Dallas. But as I live in the ‘burbs, I won’t actually get a vote on it. Yet still. This kind of crap just bugs the snot out of me.
There’s an issue coming up about a hotel that the city wants bond money to build a convention hotel. Some people say that if we’re ever going to get the big conventions, we have to have an adequate hotel. Others say that if we even had a shot at the big conventions, a big venture firm would have come in and done it themselves, without using any taxpayer money. Personally, I my partially informed opinion is that it's a lousy idea. But as I say, I’m not a resident of Dallas, and even if I went out and did the research and came up with a fully informed opinion, what I think wouldn’t matter a hill of beans. I’ll just have to rely on Dallas residents to make a fair and judicious decision.
But here’s the thing: this is one of those sneaky ballot issues where no means yes and yes means no. If you vote “no”, you are saying build the hotel. If you vote “yes”, you’re saying don’t build the hotel. Not exactly intuitive, no? Or yes. So unless they do a staggeringly good campaign to let people know which way the vote runs (and that ain't likely), I would hazard to guess that many people will vote against their own opinion, on accident. And if only 10% of voters don’t quite get it, that’s a huge margin for error. I don’t see any way that this vote isn’t a huge waste of time, and thus the snot bugging.
Not the first time this has happened. Or the only town where it happens. And I’m sure there’s some sort of politicianny, convoluted rationalization for the whole backasswards way that issue is proposed. But it’s wrong. They know it’s wrong. Leave it to a politician not to be able to ask a simple question. Especially when they don’t want the simple answer.
There’s an issue coming up about a hotel that the city wants bond money to build a convention hotel. Some people say that if we’re ever going to get the big conventions, we have to have an adequate hotel. Others say that if we even had a shot at the big conventions, a big venture firm would have come in and done it themselves, without using any taxpayer money. Personally, I my partially informed opinion is that it's a lousy idea. But as I say, I’m not a resident of Dallas, and even if I went out and did the research and came up with a fully informed opinion, what I think wouldn’t matter a hill of beans. I’ll just have to rely on Dallas residents to make a fair and judicious decision.
But here’s the thing: this is one of those sneaky ballot issues where no means yes and yes means no. If you vote “no”, you are saying build the hotel. If you vote “yes”, you’re saying don’t build the hotel. Not exactly intuitive, no? Or yes. So unless they do a staggeringly good campaign to let people know which way the vote runs (and that ain't likely), I would hazard to guess that many people will vote against their own opinion, on accident. And if only 10% of voters don’t quite get it, that’s a huge margin for error. I don’t see any way that this vote isn’t a huge waste of time, and thus the snot bugging.
Not the first time this has happened. Or the only town where it happens. And I’m sure there’s some sort of politicianny, convoluted rationalization for the whole backasswards way that issue is proposed. But it’s wrong. They know it’s wrong. Leave it to a politician not to be able to ask a simple question. Especially when they don’t want the simple answer.
Hope and Trepidation
Well, the new Star Trek movie is finally coming out. I’ve gone back and forth on this one a dozen times. Just to set the parameters, I would define myself as a Star Trek fan, but not a Trekkie. I thought the Star Trek Experience in Las Vegas was a hoot and a half and a blast, but a full on convention would be too much for me. I get (and make) Star Trek jokes. I would not learn to speak Klingon. There’s some sort of line there and I haven't crossed it.
So, I’m looking forward to the new flick, and plan to see it in the first week, because I’ve heard there are some twists that I don’t want spoiled. But I’m not sure how much I’ll be disappointed if they seriously fool with the “canon”. I totally think there’s room for tweaking the formula. But sometimes you tweak the formula and end up with New Coke. Sometimes you tweak the formula and get Flamin' Hot Cheetos. And you never look at a Cheeto the same again. . .
Will Chris Pine completely over-write my memories of Bill Shatner as James T. Kirk (and yes, I know what the T. stands for)? No. Not possible. Could Karl Urban be the better Bones? Fairly unlikely. Can Simon Pegg baby those fussy engines? Okay, I may be able to give you that one. I’m willing to see. I think the world could use a new generation of kids who are captured by the idea of a future that still holds new frontiers. I think I’d like a new chance to see a vision of the future that is inclusive (I’ll give bonus points if there’s a romance between Sulu and Chekov; it’s time those two crazy kids got together), optimistic and, let’s just say it, bold.
So, I’m looking forward to the new flick, and plan to see it in the first week, because I’ve heard there are some twists that I don’t want spoiled. But I’m not sure how much I’ll be disappointed if they seriously fool with the “canon”. I totally think there’s room for tweaking the formula. But sometimes you tweak the formula and end up with New Coke. Sometimes you tweak the formula and get Flamin' Hot Cheetos. And you never look at a Cheeto the same again. . .
Will Chris Pine completely over-write my memories of Bill Shatner as James T. Kirk (and yes, I know what the T. stands for)? No. Not possible. Could Karl Urban be the better Bones? Fairly unlikely. Can Simon Pegg baby those fussy engines? Okay, I may be able to give you that one. I’m willing to see. I think the world could use a new generation of kids who are captured by the idea of a future that still holds new frontiers. I think I’d like a new chance to see a vision of the future that is inclusive (I’ll give bonus points if there’s a romance between Sulu and Chekov; it’s time those two crazy kids got together), optimistic and, let’s just say it, bold.
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