I’ve noticed that there are things where my perception and the reality are soooo far off. And even though I’m totally aware of the reality, the first impression sticks, and I can’t shake it. Completely in spite of any evidence to the contrary, I operate under that initial assumption.
For instance, the first right ups I saw for Madeleine Peyroux made her sound like the second coming of Peggy Lee. I was totally stoked. Bought the CD. Felt completely betrayed. Blech. She’s like a dime store Norah Jones, with Diana Krall pretensions. Sings everything in the key of G (ee, I find your voice really annoying). But for some reason, I remember the Peggy Lee bit, and forget the G part. So I’ll tune into some music show on purpose because I see her name, or buy some song off of iTunes, and be all excited. Whooo, this’ll be great! Then it’s not. And I remember. Oh, right. Can’t stand her. Try to remember that next time, Julie.
On the other end of the spectrum is Dax Shepherd. I think I hate him. I avoid movies that he’s in. Maybe it’s the Punked association. Or maybe he just looks like someone who is in bad movies. Then when I actually accidentally see something he’s done, it’s like, “Oh, he’s not half as stupid as he looks.” In fact, he was the only one who made Employee of the Month remotely bearable. And he was surprisingly effective in a sort of butch part in Zathura. I know these facts to be true. But still, if I saw him on a cast list of a movie today, I can’t guarantee that I wouldn’t automatically strike it off my list. I’ve cut him far less slack than Keanu Reeves. And lord know that guy owes me a ton of cash.
Obviously, I’ve got a glitch in my software. Something in the MEDb (Mental Entertainment Database). Though obviously, I’m not always wrong. Anything with Kim Cattrall will definitely suck. Or she will be the sucky link in an otherwise entertaining chain.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
You're a big boy. Use your words.
Okay, I'm just a little more sensitive that normal - not that I'm not always tetchy about this - but the Valentines commercial are already about to drive me around the bend. Not good.
Perhaps it's lag from the holidays. I'm still itchy from the Lexus commercial - "The first time you give someone a Lexus. . . " The first time?? Say what? There would be a second time? There would be a first time? Really? Santa's bag ain't that big, baby.
Anyhoodle.
Now it's "Nothing says "I love you" like roses," "Nothing says "I love you" like a diamond," "Nothing says "I love you" like your very own sparkly pony." Bleh bleh bleh.
You know what says "I love you"?
I love you. You can say it . . . with words. Maybe with a smoochy thrown in. Maybe a little hanky-spanky. But really, opening up your pumpkin pie hole and letting the words come out pretty much gets the job done.
Perhaps it's lag from the holidays. I'm still itchy from the Lexus commercial - "The first time you give someone a Lexus. . . " The first time?? Say what? There would be a second time? There would be a first time? Really? Santa's bag ain't that big, baby.
Anyhoodle.
Now it's "Nothing says "I love you" like roses," "Nothing says "I love you" like a diamond," "Nothing says "I love you" like your very own sparkly pony." Bleh bleh bleh.
You know what says "I love you"?
I love you. You can say it . . . with words. Maybe with a smoochy thrown in. Maybe a little hanky-spanky. But really, opening up your pumpkin pie hole and letting the words come out pretty much gets the job done.
To the manners born
I’ve been thinking a lot about manners again. Both because I’ve seen heartwarming displays of courtesy, and truly appalling, were-you-raised-in-a-barn shenanigans.
I get that a lot of the old rules don’t apply any more. The thing about a gentleman escorting a lady on a sidewalk should be closest to the wall because if someone throws a chamber pot, he should be the one to take the dousing. Outdated, yes? One, because we now have equality, and that means we all get an equal chance to be besmirched. Just because he’s a fella doesn’t mean he has to take crap. And, two, I can’t remember the last time I dumped a chamber pot out a window.
But we tossed the etiquette baby out with the modern bath water. Just because some of the old rules were broken doesn’t mean that we just don’t need rules any more. Manners are what keep us from annoying the hell out of each other. Sure, we’re more casual as a society these days. But even the loosest association needs some boundaries to work.
But if we’re going to all agree to rules, it would seem like we’d need to agree on principle to some guiding philosophy. Something that is a minimum standard, and if the rule of etiquette doesn’t follow those guiding principles, then it’s probably some made up non-sense that somebody is trying to get over on you. [Like that “the wedding present should be equal to the amount the wedding host spent to entertain you” BS. If you don’t like the couple well enough to get them a gift from the heart (regardless of cost, or lack thereof) that expresses your delight that they are forming a life together, don’t go to the wedding. Even if they have an open bar.]
I think three basic principles should be:
Practicality: There should be some practical purpose. Like RSVPs. They don’t exist to annoy people. They exist to make sure that the host buys enough hot dogs and buns for the barbecue. Or that the host doesn’t end up eating leftover hot dogs for 3 weeks.
Respect: There are just some people who should be afforded more respect. Give up your seat on the bus to old people (they’ve put in their time), pregnant people (they are letting their body be used as a condo in order to continue the species) and, I’ll go ahead and say it, active military personnel (yes, they’re in good condition and have no problems standing; that’s not the point). You may have others you’d add. And while we’re at it, people who are being shown respect should just be dignified about it. None of this, “Are you saying I’m old?” business. A sign of respect is a compliment, not an insult. Take your due, gracefully.
Avoiding unpleasantness: Okay, that one is a little harder to define. Let me give an example. You get to the door first. There is someone a few feet behind you. You hold the door for them. Not because they aren’t strong enough to hold the door. Because it is REALLY FREAKING UNPLEASANT to have a door slam in your face. And unless you’re walking into a Medieval fort, it’s highly unlikely that the “big, strong man” is going to have to be the one opening the door. Any of us can do it. And any of us can hold the door an extra few seconds to help someone else. I help you avoid unpleasantness, you help me. See how easy that is? Also applies for toilet seats. Why should the rim be put down? Because, if I don’t notice that the seat isn’t there, it is REALLY FREAKING UNPLEASANT to get the cold, wet surprise. And if we go by the principle, many of the unpleasant bumps of the day will be avoided. What is the result? Less pissed off people. I think that would make for a nicer world.
So maybe we don’t need an elaborate, written code. Maybe if we view our actions through a few guiding principles, it would be enough to get us through this nutty ol’ life. And these 3 are just a shot in the dark. Maybe if we talked about it as a society, we’d come up with better principles. Mainly it would just seem to be common sense. But how do we know what we have in common if we don’t talk about it? Something so simple. We talk about how rude people are. But we don’t talk about how to fix it.
I get that a lot of the old rules don’t apply any more. The thing about a gentleman escorting a lady on a sidewalk should be closest to the wall because if someone throws a chamber pot, he should be the one to take the dousing. Outdated, yes? One, because we now have equality, and that means we all get an equal chance to be besmirched. Just because he’s a fella doesn’t mean he has to take crap. And, two, I can’t remember the last time I dumped a chamber pot out a window.
But we tossed the etiquette baby out with the modern bath water. Just because some of the old rules were broken doesn’t mean that we just don’t need rules any more. Manners are what keep us from annoying the hell out of each other. Sure, we’re more casual as a society these days. But even the loosest association needs some boundaries to work.
But if we’re going to all agree to rules, it would seem like we’d need to agree on principle to some guiding philosophy. Something that is a minimum standard, and if the rule of etiquette doesn’t follow those guiding principles, then it’s probably some made up non-sense that somebody is trying to get over on you. [Like that “the wedding present should be equal to the amount the wedding host spent to entertain you” BS. If you don’t like the couple well enough to get them a gift from the heart (regardless of cost, or lack thereof) that expresses your delight that they are forming a life together, don’t go to the wedding. Even if they have an open bar.]
I think three basic principles should be:
Practicality: There should be some practical purpose. Like RSVPs. They don’t exist to annoy people. They exist to make sure that the host buys enough hot dogs and buns for the barbecue. Or that the host doesn’t end up eating leftover hot dogs for 3 weeks.
Respect: There are just some people who should be afforded more respect. Give up your seat on the bus to old people (they’ve put in their time), pregnant people (they are letting their body be used as a condo in order to continue the species) and, I’ll go ahead and say it, active military personnel (yes, they’re in good condition and have no problems standing; that’s not the point). You may have others you’d add. And while we’re at it, people who are being shown respect should just be dignified about it. None of this, “Are you saying I’m old?” business. A sign of respect is a compliment, not an insult. Take your due, gracefully.
Avoiding unpleasantness: Okay, that one is a little harder to define. Let me give an example. You get to the door first. There is someone a few feet behind you. You hold the door for them. Not because they aren’t strong enough to hold the door. Because it is REALLY FREAKING UNPLEASANT to have a door slam in your face. And unless you’re walking into a Medieval fort, it’s highly unlikely that the “big, strong man” is going to have to be the one opening the door. Any of us can do it. And any of us can hold the door an extra few seconds to help someone else. I help you avoid unpleasantness, you help me. See how easy that is? Also applies for toilet seats. Why should the rim be put down? Because, if I don’t notice that the seat isn’t there, it is REALLY FREAKING UNPLEASANT to get the cold, wet surprise. And if we go by the principle, many of the unpleasant bumps of the day will be avoided. What is the result? Less pissed off people. I think that would make for a nicer world.
So maybe we don’t need an elaborate, written code. Maybe if we view our actions through a few guiding principles, it would be enough to get us through this nutty ol’ life. And these 3 are just a shot in the dark. Maybe if we talked about it as a society, we’d come up with better principles. Mainly it would just seem to be common sense. But how do we know what we have in common if we don’t talk about it? Something so simple. We talk about how rude people are. But we don’t talk about how to fix it.
Monday, February 1, 2010
I beg your pardon, young man.
So, we were talking last night at the Girls dinner. What do you call a younger man who pursues older women? Interesting question, really. The term “cougar” can be seen as either empowered and gyno-positive, in that we’re evening up the May-December stats with a little December-May, or it can be seen as derogatory and predatory. Especially seeing as most older woman/younger man relationships are closer to September or October than December. It takes much less of an age difference to be remarked upon when the woman is older.
But there are younger men out there who actually do chase older women. No seduction necessary, Mrs. Robinson. And there just doesn’t seem to be a term for them. The “cub” term implies some little helpless fella. And there’s nothing equivalent to “gold-digger” if he’s looking for a sugar mama. Not that the term would need to necessarily have negative connotations. But this world seems to love slapping labels on people, and this is one category that just seems to be un-labeled. And from what I've seen, it may be under the radar, but it definitely does happen.
The “cub” term seems to be borrowed from the boys. The bears have had cubs for quite awhile. And of course, there’s always the “twinks”, bless they’re hearts. But what seems so easy for gay men to define, just gets blows all expectations in a hetero relationship. Why would a younger man look for an older woman? And even though the answer is much the same as when a younger woman looks at older men (money, experience, self-knowledge, fun), it still seems that it’s a phenomenon like UFOs. Nobody believes it until they see it for themselves.
But where do you go? Call them Harolds? (as in “and Maude”) Pepe Le Pew? (Always chasing that poor kitty.) Jim Fowler? (Okay, that’s a really obscure reference, but for my peeps who watched Wild Kingdom as kids, Jim was the poor guy who had to go chase after animals like bobcats and cougars while Marlin Perkins was safe back in the studio doing voice-overs. “Watch out, Jim!” Good times.) Or maybe, if we’re going to reach back in the vault, how about Spanky or Alfalfa? Seems like they always had a crush on Miss Crabtree back in the day on the Little Rascals.
So what do you guys have? Anybody heard of any better ones?
But there are younger men out there who actually do chase older women. No seduction necessary, Mrs. Robinson. And there just doesn’t seem to be a term for them. The “cub” term implies some little helpless fella. And there’s nothing equivalent to “gold-digger” if he’s looking for a sugar mama. Not that the term would need to necessarily have negative connotations. But this world seems to love slapping labels on people, and this is one category that just seems to be un-labeled. And from what I've seen, it may be under the radar, but it definitely does happen.
The “cub” term seems to be borrowed from the boys. The bears have had cubs for quite awhile. And of course, there’s always the “twinks”, bless they’re hearts. But what seems so easy for gay men to define, just gets blows all expectations in a hetero relationship. Why would a younger man look for an older woman? And even though the answer is much the same as when a younger woman looks at older men (money, experience, self-knowledge, fun), it still seems that it’s a phenomenon like UFOs. Nobody believes it until they see it for themselves.
But where do you go? Call them Harolds? (as in “and Maude”) Pepe Le Pew? (Always chasing that poor kitty.) Jim Fowler? (Okay, that’s a really obscure reference, but for my peeps who watched Wild Kingdom as kids, Jim was the poor guy who had to go chase after animals like bobcats and cougars while Marlin Perkins was safe back in the studio doing voice-overs. “Watch out, Jim!” Good times.) Or maybe, if we’re going to reach back in the vault, how about Spanky or Alfalfa? Seems like they always had a crush on Miss Crabtree back in the day on the Little Rascals.
So what do you guys have? Anybody heard of any better ones?
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Let's hear it for the boy!
Went to visit my new nephew and his family yesterday. If you don’t have babies in your life regularly, you kind of forget how sweet the little puddin’s are.
And how soon they start to show personality. My mom was feeding Dec, his first time on formula because he needs a little more than what his mama is able to “cook up” right now. And he took to formula just fine. But when he had enough, those lips pinched shut and the chin went up, and No, ma’am, he just wasn’t going to be having any more. My mom said she thinks she just got a sneak peak of my sister’s life for the next 20 years. This kid may have inherited the family stubborn streak. And he definitely inherited the family chin. My dad looked at him and said he knew that chin, because he’d been shaving it for 50 years.
Babies are just loads of fun. Who else would you let fart on your arm and think it’s just adorable? Or throw up on you? Or any of the other bodily fluids that adults usually don’t share with other people unless there are large quantities of liquor involved. Newborns smile and it’s enthralling. They cry and it’s a crisis. Who else on the planet is this enthralling?
And, of course, for a knitting auntie, it’s the culmination of all those years of practice. Why else did I learn to knit if it wasn’t to make adorable things for adorable little people? So, without further ado, here he is, Declan. In the knitted baby cocoon from the aunt who thinks he’s perfect.
And how soon they start to show personality. My mom was feeding Dec, his first time on formula because he needs a little more than what his mama is able to “cook up” right now. And he took to formula just fine. But when he had enough, those lips pinched shut and the chin went up, and No, ma’am, he just wasn’t going to be having any more. My mom said she thinks she just got a sneak peak of my sister’s life for the next 20 years. This kid may have inherited the family stubborn streak. And he definitely inherited the family chin. My dad looked at him and said he knew that chin, because he’d been shaving it for 50 years.
Babies are just loads of fun. Who else would you let fart on your arm and think it’s just adorable? Or throw up on you? Or any of the other bodily fluids that adults usually don’t share with other people unless there are large quantities of liquor involved. Newborns smile and it’s enthralling. They cry and it’s a crisis. Who else on the planet is this enthralling?
And, of course, for a knitting auntie, it’s the culmination of all those years of practice. Why else did I learn to knit if it wasn’t to make adorable things for adorable little people? So, without further ado, here he is, Declan. In the knitted baby cocoon from the aunt who thinks he’s perfect.
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