The Kit Kat Klub

So, my niece's cat is staying with me. And if you are keeping count, that makes 2, count 'em TWO, cats. Because, yes, my sister's cat is still with me. I stand in evidence that you can become a crazy cat lady without even really trying.

Heidi cat is not really happy to be staying with me either. She's a little freaked. Lots of hissing going on. I should point out that she's a little pissy on her best days. She's a really pretty cat, but it's like she's got a permanent case of PMS. And staying with me has pushed her over the edge into mild psychosis. I'll walk into the room where she's staying until she gets used to my house (theoretically), and she runs around my legs. I sit down and try to be non-threatening. She comes over and makes all the come-hither-kitty moves -"Pet me! Pet me!!" I slowly move over to touch her - "Hissss!" I back off. "Pet me! Pet me!!" I'm move my hand - "Hissss!" I decide she's had enough togetherness and go to the door. "Meeooow?"

Mitzi cat on the other hand is not even bothered. She made one attempt to make friends, and got a hiss for her troubles. And generally, she's exhibited zero interest in furthering the acquaintance. "What evah. That bitch is craaaazy." "Yeah, I know, sweetie. But don't worry. She's going to stay in the guest room until she decides she can behave." "Well, good luck with that."

Where's a good editor when you need one?

Taken from today's New York Times:
"As contentious as war itself"? Uhm. Or maybe not? If this country has gotten to the point where a piece of entertainment is debated as seriously as other topics that should be on the national agenda, like immigration, national debt, the death penalty or, oh say, war, where men and women are risking their lives every day for their country, we are in very deep trouble. I can't decide if this is emblematic of the fouled up priorities in America today, or just if it's just a really lousy lead-in on Mr. Itzkoff's part.

The full story is at (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/22/weekinreview/22itzkoff.html?_r=1&no_interstitial&oref=slogin). It doesn't get much better after the first sentence. Oh, and typo in the last paragraph, by the way.

All the news that's fit to print.

Today I've had to write a few pieces for the office newsletter. Ouch. Ouch. My brain.

Newsletters are a very specific sort of writing. I used to do it all the time at my old job. But now I'm severely out of practice. Blogging is a totally different animal for me. There are lots of ways to do it, but for me I just pretend like we're all just shooting the breeze at the local coffee shop. If you've read this blog, you more or less know what I sound like in real life.

But office newsletter writing is much, hmmm. Plainer? You are writing for a wiiiide audience. And the closer you get to the middle of the road, the more successful you'll be. If you've got mad literary skills, save 'em. Nobody wants to hear metonymy or alliteration while they're trying to eat a bag of microwave popcorn in the lunch room. You have to be informative, not scholarly. You have to be business-like, yet friendly. Humor is encouraged. But of the "ha ha ha" variety. Not the "heh heh heh" variety. And irony is strictly forbidden. Irony leads to standing in the HR office while you apologize to a co-worker.

So, when I stare at my monitor, struggling for words, I think to myself "What would Barbie write?" Barbie would be a perfect newsletter writer. She'd keep it light, bright and breezy. She'd never cross the line. Of course it's printed on pink paper, but it's always squeaky clean.

When Julie gives a recipe for watermelon agua fresca on her blog, her serving suggestions include substituting the "agua" for Stoli. When Barbie gives the same recipe, her serving suggestions include garnishing with mint and frozen blueberries. That Barbie. She's such a nice girl. And so informative!

Canadian Severed Foot Watch - The Recount!

Okay, just watching CNN.  We have revised totals:  4 right feet, 1 left foot, 1 paw (it has not been disclosed whether the paw was a righty or a lefty).  Evidently the paw was planted by a Canadian practical "joker".  Hey!  Lay off the Labatts, you hoser.

Why am I so fascinated by this story?!?!?

Seperated at birth?

Do you suppose they actually intended for Cate Blanchett* to look like Edna Mode?

Or was she just supposed to look like a hot date for Chairman Mao?

*Picture snapped from a Dr. Pepper Indiana Jones promotional can. Yeah, that's what you want to look at while you sip your decadent American soft drink.