Wild Kingdom: Cougars and Drunk Lions

So, Saturday at the Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers show at Gruene Hall (and yes, I do realize I’m one lucky girl that I get to throw off phrases like that as casual as can be), I kind of realized why the whole cougar thing works.

I was at the show with Mo and T, enjoying the music, feeling good, grooving the scene. And from our vantage point on the edge of the crowd, we see this young guy working the crowd. There were at least 4 bachelorette parties, and he was working really hard to hook up with somebody, or apparently anybody. He’d float from group to group, making his play. And getting denied pretty much at every turn. Being inebriated, while probably loosening him up in making his move, was not helping him when it came to sealing the deal. You’d just see the girls in each group getting a little spooked every time he came near them. Like a herd of okapi scenting a lion on the wind. A really, really drunk lion.

And it was during “Green and Dumb”, when I locked arms with Mo to sway and sing along (it’s that kind of song; strangers become friends, friends become soul sisters and brothers from another mother under the light of a neon beer sign), I suddenly recognized Drunk Simba. Two years ago at an RCPM show (http://firephrase.blogspot.com/2009/05/good.html) at the House of Blues, he had been the one swaying with me, and finished the song off with a full-body hug. A bit fresh on 3 and a half minutes acquaintance, but not out of line. Firm yet gentle, I’d recommend him to a friend.

Anyway, Mo and I had apparently had the same thought when we saw the bachelorette girls getting all spooked about Simba. “Unclench, girls. He’s going to be carried to the car by his friends tonight. Being nice to him won’t kill you.” And that’s the advantage of being over 40. You don’t think that you’re going to marry, or even end up in a semi-committed one night stand with, every guy you smile at in a bar. Sometimes you can just play for the love of the game. And you also have enough confidence to know that if you start something and it turns into more than you were looking for, you can tell the guy to back off. Gently, or in no uncertain terms. It’s not a big deal. And believe me, I understand chicks before d***s (it’s my girl power version of bros before hos), and sometimes you just want to hang out with your girls. But honestly, it wouldn’t kill you to just be nice to the poor drunk guy. Karma has a way of coming around. Yeah, he wanted to hook up. But he'd probably have settled for a smile and a sing-along.

So, to all those young girls who sit in bars wondering aloud, as I’ve occasionally heard them do, why all the young guys are over talking to older women and not you – it’s pretty simple. We talk back.