Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Goody Two Shoes

I get why they use portmanteau words in advertising. You take two words that describe your product, slap ‘em together and you’ve got a new word and your new name. As in, they’re fruity! They’re high in fiber! They’re FrootieTooties! Oooo. Just makes me want to buy a box.

But I never, NEVER get the two words right. Even if they use a bigger letter in the middle to show where the word break is, if there is any chance of breaking it down at the wrong place, I’ll go right for it.

I read this product as Runt One. Shoes for short people? Trainers that actually make you lose muscle mass? I’m tired of being big and tough. I’m looking for a shoe that will turn me into the runt of the litter. Didn’t matter that the font changes at the T. I’m thinking this is a product line that is going to be endorsed by David Spade.

And, by the way, I’m not buying these toner shoes. Not just not purchasing. I’m not buying the concept. No, I’m not going to believe that shoes will magically give me a butt you could bounce a quarter off of. In fact, I’m pretty sure that six months from now there will be a law firm commercial that says “Were you injured by toning shoes? You can still join the class action law suit. Just call 1-800-RICKETS.”

4 comments:

WashingtonGardener said...

I also read it as RUNT One - just naturally we break it there.
As to these "New fad" toning shoes, still got my toning Dr Scholl sandals, thanks very much - vintage and new - and yeah, my calve muscles are bigger than The Rock's.

FirePhrase said...

I love my Dr. Scholl's. And I couldn't care if they actually work or not. They are FIERCE, no question.

victory4angela said...

I still have my Dr. Scholl's but I hate them. They make my feet hurt. I don't know why I keep them, but there they are in my closet since the 80s. The only shoes from that era in fact.

FirePhrase said...

Even if you don't wear them, hold onto the Dr. Scholl's. I hadn't worn them in years and got heel spurs. Wearing the classic Dr. S sandals saved my feet. Takes a few days of wearing to get your feet used to them, but they really are sole savers.

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