Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Rudey Can't Fail

I find that self-righteousness is my worst failing. Maybe it’s those years in Baptist school. I can be pretty judgy. Not something I’m proud of. But there it is.

Like last night on the train. The woman across the aisle from me was totally seat hogging on a crowded train. She was well-dressed and precision quaffed. And totally blocking access to the window seat. Did I mention the crowded train part? Basically she was getting by on the fact that, in our “classless” American society, people rarely have the nerve to challenge rich, white women. And Queenie just sat there flipping through Food & Wine magazine (aristo) knowing that it was highly unlikely that anyone was going to call her on her pigginess.

I really, really wanted to say something along the lines of “Seat pigs burn in hell” or “You make Jesus cry when you are selfish” or, my personal favorite, “Move your ass you rude cow!” But I bit my tongue. Because, who knows, maybe she has a horrible neurological disorder that makes it hard for her to have anything touching her entire right side. Or maybe she was born with an extra pair of ass cheeks that made it impossible for her to share the seat. Or maybe she was raised by a pack of wolves, the poor dear, and never learned BASIC COURTESY.

Oh, yeah, nothing judgmental about that at all. So, knowing that I was not being kindhearted, I just seethed. Better to boil and bite your tongue, than to possibly cause embarrassment to a woman with two asses.

2 comments:

WashingtonGardener said...

OK I admit my biggest flaw is seat-hogging on public transit -- but I DO move my ass over when asked or when I look from reading to see most all seats are filled and folks will start to be standing.

BTW I always used to slide in over to the window and looked down on those aisle-blocked hogs - but after an unpleasant groper experience on a crowded bus, I now know why very well why females sit on the outer seat and govern over who they allow to sit next to them.

FirePhrase said...

Honestly, if there are some available seats, I'm not all that tweaky about seat hogging. But when ever last other seat is full, it's just out of bounds for me. And if she was concerned about gropers (rare in Dalls, but not impossible), but saw somebody standing, she could just as easily ask a person if they wanted the window (actually by far the first choice of seat for DART riders). I'm still going with the 2 butts theory.

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