Thursday, August 14, 2008

Built for Speedos

I can't say so far that I've given a rat's about the Olympics so far. It's been a "Oh, really? That's nice" reaction more than a "Whoa! Cool!"

But I do have to say that I'm weirdly fascinated with Michael Phelp's body. Usually, I'm fond of a long pair of legs on a fella. But he's got some stumpy pins. At least in comparison to his torso. What the hell is going on there? It looks like he was built by alien rocket engineers. Those bla-dow shoulders tapering down to the sleekest six-pack on the planet. And because of the low-rise Speedos the boys are wearing this year, you can see just how far down that definition goes. And speaking of alien technology, how are they getting those suits to stay on? The amount of tensile strength it must take that mighty stretch of Lycra to hold on to his nearly non-existant hips is practically heroic. Yeah, tell me I'm alone in staring at that waistband and wondering.

Michael Phelp's body is so developed I can't even say for sure that I find it attractive. His musculature is so far removed from anyone that I've ever met, I'm not even positive we're of the same species. But he sure as hell is fascinating.

8 comments:

Desiree' said...

I hadn't really noticed. But I also have not really been watching the Olympics this year. I watched last weekend some and that was it. Last night I went to see Pineapple Express and The Dark Knight.

FirePhrase said...

Double feature. Very nice.

Every time I pull up the internet there's another picture of Phelps. Usually looking extremely happy. Not that kind of happy, dirty mind. Gold medal happy. And I'll be stuck for at least a minute just kind of staring at his, literally, awesome bod.

Desiree' said...

Every picture I see online is from the shoulders up.

FirePhrase said...

Possibly because the shoulders are wicked good. He must not stand still very often out of the water. Here's the best full body shot I could find:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/olympics/2008/writers/kelli_anderson/08/15/phelps.day6/index.html?eref=T1

Desiree' said...

Not the best full body shot. Here is a quote from a friend on twitter:
"did you see that thing last night about Phelps torso being that of a 6'8" guy but legs of 6'0"? Odd." lol

FirePhrase said...

I'm telling you - alien technology. He was grown in a giant glass tank full of goo, especially for the purpose of swimming. Mutant.

WashingtonGardener said...

Phelps being an MDer is on 24-7 rotation here - who notices his legs or abnormally long torso when you can;t get past those ears! Surely they cannot be aerodynamic in the water!

FirePhrase said...

I think the ears are the reason for the double swim caps. Gotta level those babies out somehow. But I'm not complaining - you know I love sticky-outy ears on a fella.

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