What I have learned from RuPaul's Drag Race

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/the-most-dangerous-high-heels-3-types-of-footwear-that-can-send-you-to-the-hospital-2500099/#photoViewer=7

The big thing that makes me laugh about the current obsession with the super-platform shoes is that they always make me think one thing – drag queen. Cause really, the whole heel thing has gotten out of hand (foot?). Go back and look at pictures from the 80s at what you thought were slutty hooker heels on Tawny Kitaen or Lita Ford. 2-inches. Maybe 2 ½. Now a 5-inch heel is being sold at Payless. You don’t even have to go down the stripper store any more.

And here’s the thing, on drag queens, there’s a reason for the big heels. They have big feet. You put an inch high kitten heel on a size 12, and it’s just not going to look right. Not that they usually need the leg lengthening that you get from a heel (darn them and their low body fat), but a six-foot tall “dame” needs a shoe that’s in proportion.

Also, drag queens are performers. They wear those shoes when they are in drag and working. And sometimes that’s for a 4-minute lip synch to “Single Ladies”. Then they’re backstage sitting down like a sensible person. Yes, a good queen can strut and be fierce in a pair of killer heels. But they usually have the sense not to try wearing them to the Piggly Wiggly. When the wig comes off, so do the heels. It seems to be only women who don’t have the sense not to wear those ankle-breakers all day. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen some girl working it in to work on 4-inch stilettos and hobbling out the door at the end of the day.

The ladies could take a tip from the lady-boys on this one. All that fierceness? It’s drag, honey. Save the triple-platform, peep toe, stiletto, sky-high shoe for the moment you are in the spotlight. And save your feet with a pair of flats for real life.

5 Reasons Why a 35 Year Age Difference Can Work in a Marriage:

First off: EEEEEWWWWWW!

http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/21/lost-actor-marries-16-year-old-girlfriend/?hpt=hp_bn5

1. You're a Medieval lord and she's good breeding stock
2. One of you was born on February 29
   
3. One of you has recently undergone a long space journey and experienced gravitational time dilation (Shout out to OG, Albert Einstein! Special relativity, yo!)
4. You're first cousins and the age difference is really not the grossest thing about it
5. You're Jerry Lee Lewis - oh, wait. That' didn't work either. Strike that. You're Woody Allen! Cross-reference to number 4.
   

Hate is a strong word

I was talking with friends this weekend, and somehow the topic of hating people had come up. And there was one friend, there’s always one, who said that they don’t “hate” people. Hate’s a negative emotion, doesn’t do you any good, gets in the way of understanding, only hurting yourself in the end. Okay, sure. I buy that. I’m at the opposite end of the spectrum. There is one person who has been in my life who I hate, to this day. Hate. To the point where it would make me happy to hear that he’s dead. And died painfully. Doesn’t make me proud. But it’s nonetheless and absolute truth.

This is a person who is intelligent. Sensitive in the sense that he is well able to understand others’ emotions. Healthy and able to support himself in an adequate to better-than-adequate manner. Empirically speaking, good looking. Charming to the unwary. And he is an absolute waste of skin. He breeds hate and discontent wherever he goes. Manipulates with glee. Is hurtful to others. And for no real reason other than it seems to make him chuckle.

He’s not Grand Wizard of the KKK evil. He’s just plain evil. Not destructive on a regional scale. Just destructive to anyone who might come in contact with him. I have been driving in a parking lot and seen him walking. The idea that a tap of the gas pedal, while not the right thing to do and not something that would happen, could rid the world of this scourge – well, it did bring me a small amount of hope. I actually believe it’s a moral imperative to hate someone this evil.

Yes, I know that I should release this hate. Surrender it to the universe with the knowledge that he had a horrible childhood, or a damaged brain, or was cursed by an evil fairy at birth. Could even be demon possession for all I know. To be honest, I don’t get up every morning and wish him ill. This weekend was probably the first time I’ve thought of him in years. But if you ask me if I hate anyone, this is the name that leaps to mind. The only name that leaps to mind, for that matter. I wouldn’t kill him. I would do whatever in my power to stop someone else from killing him.

But I would still be happy to hear that he was dead.

Losing our sense of proportion

Here’s something I’ve been thinking about. I’ve been hearing Republicans bang the drum for less regulation of big business. Personally, I’m for less regulation, but I think those bastards in big business can suck it. I’d like to see less regulation for small and medium-sized businesses. Here’s my thought process, the amount of regulation you should be under should be in direct proportion to the amount of hellation you can cause if you screw up.

For instance, here in Texas, if you were a mom who wanted to start a small business from you home baking fresh muffins and selling them to your family and friends on the side to make some extra cash – forget it. The requirements you’d have to meet in order to do it are beyond crazy. And that applies to church bake sales, 2nd graders’ lemonade stands, farmers’ market stalls and your friendly neighborhood tamale lady. Say the worst happened and the muffin mom made a bad batch, how many people could she really hurt? A dozen? Two dozen? On the other hand, a Texas company like Enron faced so little regulation that they were able to nearly bankrupt California by creating an energy crisis, and then bankrupt the retirement savings of thousands of Americans who were invested in Enron stock.

I can’t help but think the balance of the scales is somewhat off. In an age where Wal-Mart thrives, mom and pop stores crumble. But somehow, I’m supposed to feel sorry for Wal-Mart. We should all just leave Wal-Mart alone. Sorry. No. I think those bastards can take care of themselves. I like small businesses. I think America was a better place when there were more of them. We cut big business big slack, but make it nearly impossible for the little guy to get a break. It’s like walking past a homeless guy to hand Donald Trump a dollar.

Not LOL

So. Tracy Morgan and the homophobic rant. Wow. I’ve read some of the verbatims from the routine, and it seems pretty hate-filled. Granted, tone can make things sound different than they read on the page. But still. It sounds like an episode of “When Comedy Goes Wrong.” See Michael Richards.

The thing is comedy has an ability to illuminate peoples’ anxieties, hypocrisies and pre-conceptions. Many comedians work that line really closely, between discomfort and laughter. But comedy is also many bullies’ weapon of choice. Couching a putdown as “a joke” and if you can’t take being attacked, it’s your own fault. Many of the edgier comedians work a line of anger into their routines. When you combine that high volatility of anger and race or sexuality or gender, things can go wrong. It’s a risk you take when you’d rather be Richard Pryor than Jerry Seinfeld. I think that the fact that the audience was really uncomfortable is a measure that probably Tracy Morgan’s routine crossed the line. Sometimes it’s only a vibe, as hard as that is to define, that makes the difference between “I can’t believe I’m laughing at this” and “I want my money back.”

Hopefully, this will end up having a positive result. It looks like the LGBT community is standing up to this instance of bullying in an assertive manner. And for the most part, comedians are intelligent, reflective and sensitive (the ones who aren’t don’t usually make it very far). And if they are able to work with Tracy Morgan in a way that discusses the issues he was talking about in an open manner, it might have a positive influence on relations between the black community and the gay community. Something that years of people calling out black basketball players for using the word “faggot” has never been able to achieve.

And for Tracy’s sake I hope he’s able to get this figured out. My gay friends are some of the most rabid consumers of standup comedy I know. I mean they consistently go to comedy clubs and theaters to actually see standup comedians. I’ll just say it. The gays love the standup. And they are a pretty sophisticated audience who can tell the difference. If they can take the kind of s### that Lisa Lampanelli dishes, they do know how to take a joke. And when it’s just not funny.