don't know who the kid is - just saw the pic on the Chicago Tribune website - such a crack up I had to share.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Funny Bunny
don't know who the kid is - just saw the pic on the Chicago Tribune website - such a crack up I had to share.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Corn-ering the Market
No sooner had I mentioned that I've given up regular soda, due to what may possibly be a problem that my body has processing corn syrup, did I see an ad from the good people who make corn syrup rebutting the current scuttlebut about their product.
Basically, their point is that all these vague, unsubstantiated rumors are just plain ridiculous. Why would you think that something made out of your good old buddy corn could possibly harm you, you silly-billy?
I could probably point out that Willie Nelson's bio-diesel is made with corn too. But I'm unlikely to pop open a can to have with my lunch. Instead, I'm going to take them at their word that all things corn are just great for me (in moderation, of course), and start eating corny dogs, movie theater popcorn and hush puppies with no guilt whatsoever. Hell, it's practically health food. I'm surprised I like them at all.
And also, kudos to the corn syrup people for making me feel ignorant and reactionary for giving credence to those wild rumors, accusations and scientific studies. Nothing like a kick to my self-esteem to make me want to run out and buy your product. I am, indeed, a silly-billy. In fact, I think I'll just run out and get myself a six-pack to drink in celebration of my return to sanity. Thanks, corn syrup. You're a pal.
Basically, their point is that all these vague, unsubstantiated rumors are just plain ridiculous. Why would you think that something made out of your good old buddy corn could possibly harm you, you silly-billy?
I could probably point out that Willie Nelson's bio-diesel is made with corn too. But I'm unlikely to pop open a can to have with my lunch. Instead, I'm going to take them at their word that all things corn are just great for me (in moderation, of course), and start eating corny dogs, movie theater popcorn and hush puppies with no guilt whatsoever. Hell, it's practically health food. I'm surprised I like them at all.
And also, kudos to the corn syrup people for making me feel ignorant and reactionary for giving credence to those wild rumors, accusations and scientific studies. Nothing like a kick to my self-esteem to make me want to run out and buy your product. I am, indeed, a silly-billy. In fact, I think I'll just run out and get myself a six-pack to drink in celebration of my return to sanity. Thanks, corn syrup. You're a pal.
Circle Circle Dot Dot
http://news.yahoo.com/story//ap/20080908/ap_on_he_me/med_healthbeat_flu_and_kids
I knew it! I knew it! Kids are just really effective germ delivery systems. Okay, I may be more sensitive to this right now, seeing as I'm a seething mass of germ-riddled snot, but I ain't touching any kids in the near future. Grubby little carriers. I think this is probably one of those biological mechanisms. Flu germs attach themselves to kids, because kids are cute and you just want to hug 'em and kiss 'em and pat 'em on the head. Giving the flu buggies the chance to jump on you and colonize and make you wish you were dead.
Well, I'm not falling for it. My immunity level is in the sub-basement right now. And if anything even remotely nasty gets near me, I'm done for. So I don't care if some kid that looks like the second coming of Dakota Fanning comes near me. They need to keep their grubby little mitts and their cooties to themselves. Unless of course they don't mind me dipping them in a bucket of hand sanitizer first.
I knew it! I knew it! Kids are just really effective germ delivery systems. Okay, I may be more sensitive to this right now, seeing as I'm a seething mass of germ-riddled snot, but I ain't touching any kids in the near future. Grubby little carriers. I think this is probably one of those biological mechanisms. Flu germs attach themselves to kids, because kids are cute and you just want to hug 'em and kiss 'em and pat 'em on the head. Giving the flu buggies the chance to jump on you and colonize and make you wish you were dead.
Well, I'm not falling for it. My immunity level is in the sub-basement right now. And if anything even remotely nasty gets near me, I'm done for. So I don't care if some kid that looks like the second coming of Dakota Fanning comes near me. They need to keep their grubby little mitts and their cooties to themselves. Unless of course they don't mind me dipping them in a bucket of hand sanitizer first.
Monday, September 8, 2008
My latest conspiracy theory
Okay, here it is. Why McCain/Palin? How did the Republican Party end up with such an . . . unlikely ticket. My conspiracy theory (cause ya know I love a good conspiracty theory) is that the Reps have decided on a little blood letting this election. Make a sacrifice this year and come out stronger for next big congressional election and 2012. Here's how I think it plays out:
How do you solve a problem like Johnny?
John McCain has been a pain in the keister for the RNC for years. That whole "maverick" thing. He's constantly drawn outside the party lines and it's made them crazy. You can't bounce him entirely. Look what happened to the Democrats and Liberman. Yeeouch. Nobody can put a leash on Joe now, and he was nearly the Republican VP nominee. Embarrassing. You've got to keep McCain in the fold. What do you do? Give him what he's asking for - sure, go ahead, we're behind you! They didn't think they could beat Obama anyway, so why not use this election to rid themselves of this meddlesome senator? And they're hoping he goes down in FLAMES. So that they can say "Awwww, dude. Too bad. Better luck next time. Oh, wait . . . Awwww. Too bad."
The Governor of Alaska? Really?
Then there's Sarah Palin. Who wasn't even on the radar until everybody's saying "Who the hell is Sarah Palin?" Yet, this makes sense too. I think the Republicans are tired of getting jerked around by the ultra-conservative Christians. They've had to build their platforms on "moral issues" for 10 years. And let's face it. Morality is no politician's strong suit. They'd rather talk about small government and cutting taxes. WWJD is not in their wheelhouse. And the strain is starting to show. So, what to do? Put in a Veep nominee who will have to stand in a debate and say that she believes in strict Creationism (that's dinosaurs and people living together, folks) and that it should be taught in the schools. And that abstinence only should be taught too teenagers (did you think the pregnant daughter coming out right at the convention was a coincidence? Ohhh. I think not). Sarah Palin can change her name to Canon Fodder. Cause she's going to be taking a lot of flak in the next month or two. And a lot of Christians who aren't fundamentalists (and there are more than a few of those, despite what the extreme right would like you to think) are going to start wondering if they want people who represent such a small sector of believers controlling the national debate and speaking for them.
So maybe this is the Republican leadership's chance to steer their boat in to calmer waters. Trim some dead weight. Cruel to be kind. I for one think they could come out better for it. It's a theory at least.
How do you solve a problem like Johnny?
John McCain has been a pain in the keister for the RNC for years. That whole "maverick" thing. He's constantly drawn outside the party lines and it's made them crazy. You can't bounce him entirely. Look what happened to the Democrats and Liberman. Yeeouch. Nobody can put a leash on Joe now, and he was nearly the Republican VP nominee. Embarrassing. You've got to keep McCain in the fold. What do you do? Give him what he's asking for - sure, go ahead, we're behind you! They didn't think they could beat Obama anyway, so why not use this election to rid themselves of this meddlesome senator? And they're hoping he goes down in FLAMES. So that they can say "Awwww, dude. Too bad. Better luck next time. Oh, wait . . . Awwww. Too bad."
The Governor of Alaska? Really?
Then there's Sarah Palin. Who wasn't even on the radar until everybody's saying "Who the hell is Sarah Palin?" Yet, this makes sense too. I think the Republicans are tired of getting jerked around by the ultra-conservative Christians. They've had to build their platforms on "moral issues" for 10 years. And let's face it. Morality is no politician's strong suit. They'd rather talk about small government and cutting taxes. WWJD is not in their wheelhouse. And the strain is starting to show. So, what to do? Put in a Veep nominee who will have to stand in a debate and say that she believes in strict Creationism (that's dinosaurs and people living together, folks) and that it should be taught in the schools. And that abstinence only should be taught too teenagers (did you think the pregnant daughter coming out right at the convention was a coincidence? Ohhh. I think not). Sarah Palin can change her name to Canon Fodder. Cause she's going to be taking a lot of flak in the next month or two. And a lot of Christians who aren't fundamentalists (and there are more than a few of those, despite what the extreme right would like you to think) are going to start wondering if they want people who represent such a small sector of believers controlling the national debate and speaking for them.
So maybe this is the Republican leadership's chance to steer their boat in to calmer waters. Trim some dead weight. Cruel to be kind. I for one think they could come out better for it. It's a theory at least.
HR Puffin-up
I went to visit a friend who moved to Texas over the weekend. She's a city girl, but has found herself out at the edge of Hill Country. She's got a cute house on a small place (2.5 acres is small to tiny in that part of the world) out in the hills. Really a gorgeous area.
A gorgeous area covered with mountain cedar. I am so allergic to mountain cedar I can't even tell you. Usually, in Dallas, we just get some of the mountain cedar blowing in from the south when there's warm weather in the late summer/early fall. And I'll get a little scratchy throat-itchy eyes-snotty sinus action. But out in the Hill Country, it was the difference between sticking your big toe in the pool, or doing a canon ball. And down there, I was in way over my head. Zyrtec helps, but it's no match for the full on for
So, I'm sitting around the kitchen table with my friend and her family. We're having this really nice conversation, just catching up on everything that's happened in the last 8 years, and I can feel my entire head just grinding to a halt. My sinuses are blowing up like car airbags. Bloof! And, okay sorry this is gross, but there is all this "fluid" up there that's trying to get out past my swollen nasal cavity. And it's just building and building. Then all the sudden there's a breach, and I've got snot running out of my nose like I'm 3 or something. Really cool. And a such an attractive quality in a house guest. So, of course, my ability to hold up my end of the conversation goes down to about nothing. Because all I'm able to think about is whether there's going to be a bio-flash flood pouring out of my face in the next two seconds.
I'm back home, and still recovering. Ugh. What a day.
A gorgeous area covered with mountain cedar. I am so allergic to mountain cedar I can't even tell you. Usually, in Dallas, we just get some of the mountain cedar blowing in from the south when there's warm weather in the late summer/early fall. And I'll get a little scratchy throat-itchy eyes-snotty sinus action. But out in the Hill Country, it was the difference between sticking your big toe in the pool, or doing a canon ball. And down there, I was in way over my head. Zyrtec helps, but it's no match for the full on for
So, I'm sitting around the kitchen table with my friend and her family. We're having this really nice conversation, just catching up on everything that's happened in the last 8 years, and I can feel my entire head just grinding to a halt. My sinuses are blowing up like car airbags. Bloof! And, okay sorry this is gross, but there is all this "fluid" up there that's trying to get out past my swollen nasal cavity. And it's just building and building. Then all the sudden there's a breach, and I've got snot running out of my nose like I'm 3 or something. Really cool. And a such an attractive quality in a house guest. So, of course, my ability to hold up my end of the conversation goes down to about nothing. Because all I'm able to think about is whether there's going to be a bio-flash flood pouring out of my face in the next two seconds.
I'm back home, and still recovering. Ugh. What a day.
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