Jill & Chase

This came up because of a specific male friend who I looked at and though, “You know, you really need to go make friends with a lesbian.”

Though we’re treading into generalization land, there is a documented phenomenon of the straight woman/gay man friendship. The Will & Grace thing. Been there, and been the beneficiary of a very nice little symbiosis. I’m not sure what my gay boyfriends may have received for being friends with me (other than my kickass personality and superior disco bunny skills). But I do know what I get out of it; I get the benefit of the male perspective. From a totally disinterested party. There’s no hidden agenda designed to present the male of the species in the best light. Or the worst light either. They’ll call a dog a dog. But also explain why some behavior might not be quite as woofish as it appears in a man’s way of thinking. Sure, you can get the male perspective from a straight guy friend. But I don’t know. I always think there’s some varnish on it. Either there’s a “I don’t currently want to sleep with you, but you might get breast plants or we could both end up drunk together, so I don’t want to burn any bridges” element, or a guy doesn’t want to throw a bro under the bus by revealing the He-Man Secrets of the Universe. But with the gay guy, he knows and he’s willing to tell.

Straight guys just don’t have that kind of synergy with lesbians, for the most part. I don’t know why. They seem to like a lot of the same things. And if there’s anyone in this world who could use a window on the opposite sex, it’s straight guys. Take this friend of mine. He’s got woman problems. And I could tell him that she’s bananas and stringing him along. But somehow he never seems to hear that kind of thing for me. Maybe he’s busy wondering what I’d look like with breast implants and a bottle of Jack in my hand. But if he had a good lesbian in his life, she’d be able to tell him these things and he’d know that she’s just looking out for him. In the words of Henry Higgins, "Why can't a woman be more like a man?" A lesbian could have explained it for him.