Wake up before you go-go 80s

Okay, here's a fashion tip - The 80s are back, but they're not THAT back. If you're rocking your Me Decade fashion and you were suddenly transported back in time to - say a Duran Duran concert and no one could tell that you came from the future, then you are doing it wrong.

If you are sitting on top of a mountain of neon over-sized t-shirts, shorty running shorts, Dynasty-era bejewelled sweater dresses, jelly shoes and hot pink lipstick, just waiting for the day that it all comes back - stop. Keep key pieces. Anything well-made, in good condition, with interesting design elements that hark back to a specific era. But not the excesses of that era. For instance, for an 80s look, say yes to a bold shoulder. Say no to 2-inch shoulder pads with a puff sleeve. If you have to turn sideways to get through a door, it's time to throttle back, Maverick. And, given all that, you can wear it one pieced at a time. One.

And yes, this is coming up because I saw it this morning. The epic, head-to-toe 80s look. The hair, moussed. The eyeshadow, purple (with purple mascara - I didn't even know they still made purple mascara). The shoulders, wiiiiiiidddddeee. With leggings and pointy-toed flats. If it was a costume party, she'd a won. But no. Just headed to work. I get the feeling that this gal has just been sitting on a pile of this stuff, waving a fist in the air, "You'll see! You'll all see! It will come back! And I'll be ready!!"

Yes, honey. You're right. It did come back. But there was a catch. It's been "updated". That's how they get you. And the other thing I always say is, if you wore it as a teenager the first time it came around, you're probably too old to wear it by the time it comes back. Fashion never stops, and neither does the clock.