I think something is starting to bug me about the “It gets better” campaigns. Not that I don’t support them. Not that I don’t believe it. I was bullied for being different in school (it’s not just gay kids; fat kids, goofy kids, smart kids, dumb kids, poor kids, racially or ethnically different kids – they all can be bullied), and I’m living proof that it does get better.
But why is the main onus being put on the victim to bear up? Tough it out. Hang in there, kid, and eventually you’ll have the self-confidence to go out and find the people who love you just as you are. Great. I’ll do that. But if you could get this person to quit making my life miserable, that would be a big help. I didn’t need everybody in the world to love me. And I actually did have enough friends who accepted me, in spite of the opinion of the bullying class. But the taunting, physical intimidation and verbal assaults did make my life a misery. They didn’t have to like me. But it would have been great if they had to leave me alone.
And, compared to some other kids, I didn’t have it that bad. I never came close to wanting to die. But man can I understand that, if you did have it worse than I did and no one seemed inclined to help, suicide would probably have sounded a lot better to a teen than any adult would have liked to contemplate.
So, yes. It does get better. But for those kids out there who are bullying, stop making it worse. Whatever it is that’s making you a bully – low self-esteem, mood disorder, crap rolling down hill – go fix your own life. I’d love to be part of a world where we all like each other, and every person is treated with, not just respect, but appreciation. But that’s not happening any time soon. Here’s the truth though. You don’t have to like the kid who is different. You don’t have to be friends. You don’t have to even talk to them. But as a member of society, I’m telling you - It’s not okay. Bullying is not just part of being a kid. And there’s nothing that gives you the right to make another person miserable, and they shouldn’t have to put up with your damage. Not cool.
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6 comments:
What I've always wondered is if the parents of these bullies know that their kids are doing this? If they did, would they do anything about it?
Does it make these kids feel superior or what? Guess I'll never understand.
I have a friend who is a teacher who says, if the kid is a bully frequently the parent is a bully too. Like they'll push other parents around and their own kids too. Not all, but she says it's not surprising at all.
we need to bring back public shaming and shunnong for the bullies, their families and their enablers -- no, it is not acceptable behavior, but it is like all in authority have thrown their hands up in defeat and acceptance
The thing that makes me insane is adults who just throw their hands up and say "Bullying is just part of childhood." Um. Actually, it doesn't have to be. Lead by example rather than default.
yes, "part of childhood" uh-huh. Just like slavery was just "part of the cotton industry" and female genital mutilation is "just aprt of becoming a women" -- goeswith the old adage: if you are not against it, you are part ofit.
Amen from this member of the choir.
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