Monday, August 30, 2010

She'll Couture a Bitch

http://awards.tv.yahoo.com/photos/140-2010-emmys-red-carpet-report-card#OmgPhoid=1

The Emmy’s was last night. Which means my DVR is programmed for the first showing of the Fashion Police red carpet report. Emmy’s? Pah. Neither Buffy the Vampire Slayer nor Homicide: Life on the Streets, two of the most well written and influential shows of the 80s and 90s ever won Emmy’s, so screw them. They know less than nothing. But I do love a red carpet take down. And nobody delivers a shiv to the boned waist like Joan Rivers. I don’t always agree, but she has a point of view and the wicked tongue to deliver it.

On the other hand, I’m starting to wonder if they deliver a thick skin with your SAG card. How those people can stand there and not look like deer in the headlights knowing that by 7:00 am Eastern they have an 85% chance of being ripped from the rooter to the tooter in multiple medias by bitches who armchair quarterback the red carpet from their LaZBoy recliner wearing sweat pants and 2-day old socks, I’ll never know. And all but the worst of them are wearing clothes that if most of them saw someone wearing that exact same thing at a wedding, holiday party or charity function, we’d make a point of walking straight up to them and telling them flat out how amazing they look. I mean really. Ridiculous standards. I mean who would hold an actual living, breathing human being to the level of expectation that would annihilate most of us? And some have to do a major red carpet 4 or 5 times a year. Ye gods. Not me, man. Not me.

And yet. It’s their jobs. And some have teams of people who make sure they look their best. Though it’s a glimpse of how impossible those expectations are that some people have more stylists than a NASCAR pit team, and still get it wrong. But awards shows are the “big game” of the celebrity bowl. And it’s always fun to see who was off their game (January Jones – WTF? Was that left over from the Project Runway party store challenge?), which underdog pulled out a big play (Jane Lynch – she’s had past snafus, but looked amazing in aubergine), and who borrowed their wardrobe off the San Diego Chicken (Christina Hendricks – not a good night for the “Mad” girls). I’ll go out on a limb and say Toni Collette was my fave this year. The hair was amazing and the dress fit like a glove and was totally unique. But we’ll see what Joan has to say.

5 comments:

WashingtonGardener said...

I think one of the first-time Emmy gals should recruit Santion and Austin for a gown special - did you SEE That wedding gown in a day they did? Damn!

FirePhrase said...

I missed it! Will scour the guide for the next rerun. Was it too die for?

glorm said...

I don't watch that show, but several have posted that that ep was fantastic to watch. A wedding gown in a day---wow!

WashingtonGardener said...

and not just ANY weddng gown - a gorgeous one with detaching skirt/train so you are free to dance at the reception - Santino's expressions whenever Austin talks are worth the viewing time

FirePhrase said...

I have seen some of Austin's own work on a bridal gown line - stunning, grand, luxe. I've got the DVR set.

And on the Fashion Police - who knew Kelly Osbourne was a hardcore fashionista. I like the kid. She has a definite point of view.

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