Monday, December 7, 2009

Honest Scraps

Okay. Courtesy of the tag from Washington Gardener (http://washingtongardener.blogspot.com/2009/12/honest-scrap-award.html), here are 10 honest things about me. I was admonished to make them interesting. I don't find myself all that interesting, but I'll give it a shot.

  1. I can touch my tongue to my nose. Really. It’s my best stupid human trick.
  2. I love the sound of my own voice. I avoid radio stations that play songs I don’t know, just because I can’t sing along. Talk radio is a complete waste of my time.
  3. I hate bathing. Don’t get me wrong. I like being clean. I just hate baths and showers. I take showers because they’re more efficient. But I find the entire process irritating.
  4. I am, bar none, the laziest person I know.
  5. Canadians, performance artists and lawyers bug me.
  6. Even if I lived completely alone on a perfectly climate controlled deep-space station, I would still wear clothes.
  7. I’m intimidated by just about everyone on the planet. Yes. Even you.
  8. I’ve enjoyed very few “great writers” that I’ve ever read. Among others, I hate Dickens, Melville, Hawthorne, nearly all of Hemingway, Saul Bellow, Henry James, Hardy, Dreiser, Orwell, Conrad, D. H. Lawrence, Henry Miller, Kerouac, Cheever, Updike, Plath and Pynchon.
  9. I have disliked nearly everyone who has ever been introduced to me as “Oh, you’ll love Soandso. He/She’s just like you.”
  10. I’m 40 years old and I still have no idea what I’m doing.

4 comments:

WashingtonGardener said...

Yeah #9 is a head scratcher - do folks EVER get that right? YOu wonder what it is the see when they look at you.

FirePhrase said...

Evidently what they see when they look at me is anywhere from a mild irritant to a complete asshole. I try not to think about it too hard, because there's a very good possibility that it implies that I don't like myself a whole lot either. Or that I really need to work on my personality.

glorm said...

It's your personality that keeps your blogs interesting and funny.

How brave of you to list those things. I will never make such a list, although for several I could just say "ditto".

FirePhrase said...

Fear not, Glo. This was painful enough that I had already decided not to pass the honest scrap award along. Though I suppose not everybody's truths are quite as unflattering as mine. You know. Like "I donate anonymously to charity." Or "I'm Batman."

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