Coming Around Again

Talking about the (despised, must-die, perish the thought) Clue remake that’s getting floated, I started think about what movies I would like to see re-made. Some flicks have so much potential that you love them in spite of their flaws, but a remake could actually fix the original problems and take it to the next level. Or sometimes it’s just time. A perfectly good movie just seems dated to the point that it’s painful to watch. A new coat of paint could bring it to a whole new generation. And if they’re going to remake movies, ad nauseum, there are plenty to pick from without sacrificing any of my personal sacred cows. Here’s my top 5 list of movies that deserve a second look.

Meatballs: I mentioned this in the comments of the Clue post, and it just seems like the time is ripe for this. Watching the original is kind of painful. The clothes, the acting, the dialogue – it’s just so 1979. And not in the good way. This movie would be dead cheap to film. Rent a YMCA camp and print up 200 Camp North Start t-shirts. And whatever happened to Chris Makepeace? It’s time for Rudy the Rabbit to make a comeback. I can see on IMDb that there may be some remake in pre-production. But if it doesn’t star Dane Cook, I can say right now – don’t even bother. He was born to play Tripper. And in these times of recession, we need a pep talk to get us through. A rallying cry, if you will. Say it with me kids, “It just doesn’t matter! It just doesn’t matter!”

African Queen: Don’t get me wrong. I love the original – sappy, sanctimonious, ethnically insensitive and deeply manipulative though it is. But the story of 2 people finding each other, after they’d given up all hope – ahhhhg, get’s me right here, sniff, sniff. And it’s really Hepburn and Bogart who sell that movie. But if you shaped up the script, there are definitely stars of a high enough caliber that could pull this off once again, possibly even better than before. My personal dream team would be Glenn Close and Christopher Walken. But I could compromise to George Clooney and Julia Roberts. That’s how much I’d like to see this movie made.

Some Like It Hot: I’ve actually put a lot of thought into that one. The original is great. Jack Lemmon is hilarious. But the idea of 2 guys in drag is just not that funny any more on it’s own. There has been a lot of gender issues water under the bridge since this movie was made. And that’s what makes this remake so intriguing to me. Masculinity, femininity, sexual attraction – we’re still all messed up about this stuff. And it’s what comedy is made of. I’m not sure about the Lemmon and Curtis parts, but Scarlet Johansson could really pull off the MM role. Honestly. I like this idea so much, I’ve come thisclose to trying to write the script myself.

Philadelphia Story: Actually, this one isn’t painful to watch the original. It’s still grand. Katherine Hepburn, Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart – wuh-wow. But this is material that’s so good it could be remade with virtually no risk to the classic original. Cate Blanchett would be my pick for the Hepburn role, bien sur. Cary Grant? Nobody leaps to mind. Those are some suave shoes to fill. Clooney? Maybe. But for Jimmy Stewart, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say, Jim Carey. I know. That’s kind of out of left field. But look at him in The Truman Shoe. I think he could pull it off.

The Odd Couple: You know, the more the economy crumbles, the more the idea of two guys having to share an apartment after a divorce makes sense. And let’s fact it, everybody loves a slob and a clean freak battling it out. That stuff never gets old. I think maybe Paul Giamatti and William H. Macy would be my top picks. And actually, I think either guy could play either role.