My niece was off to senior prom on Saturday. She looked lovely, and was so excited. It’s a rite of passage that most American teenagers will participate in. It’s the whipped cream on the entire graduation moment. The diploma, of course, is the important part. But the prom is that moment to gather with your classmates are really realize how exciting this event is. And there will be so many more that will follow in the next 10 years. First vote. First drink. First real job. First home. First (hopefully only) marriage. First child. Each one marking a transition into a new phase of life. You may not hit all of those. But you need at least a few of them to really be a successful adult.
But then what happens? You enter this really undifferentiated miasma of adulthood, and you’ve passed all but a few of your “rites”. And you just slide from phase to phase with no event. No moment to realize, “Oh, hey. Now I’m this.” Nobody throws a grandparent shower. There’s no menopause prom. Hallmark doesn’t make a “You just bought a ridiculous sports car! Happy Mid-Life Crisis!” card. I think we try to do things that create a rite of passage (those gawdawful “Over the Hill” parties, ugh, and double ugh). But so little of what happens once you’re an adult, other than retirement, isn’t viewed as a positive. Whoo-hooo! You’re now in a protected age group for employment discrimination! Party time!
So I don’t know what I would suggest. A big Empty Nest bash when your last kid leaves the house? Or maybe that menopause prom. You wear a white dress to symbolize that you will never have to fear an “accident” again, and then ceremonially burn a heap of birth control and tampons. Guys could have manopause keggers where the get to put on pleat front pants and dress socks and tennis shoes. And they are officially given permission by the tribe to tell the same story over and over again and everybody will have to listen, sonny, cause when I was your age we had respect for our elders . . .
Not that we need like some big ritual every year. But there ought to be one or two events. Something to look forward to. Something to be the punctuation on the long run-on sentence that is adulthood.
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2 comments:
There are "senior" proms and old folks homes. I'd guess NYE is that for many adults. For me, opening night at the opera each year is the dress-up grown folks equivalent.
Do they let you dance like a robot and spike the punch at the opera? Cause I think that's what would make it for me.
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