Last Christmas

I kind of get the feeling that I missed something. The stirring in the force. The flash before the boom. I think last year may have been the last of the Christmas Past holidays. Maybe if I'd been paying attention, I'd have put the dots together. My brother already one and a half kids. And my sister was planning parenthood.

But things hadn't quite reached the tipping point. There was still the ability to manage a Christmas that was like Christmas. My Christmas. Where the tree is at Mom & Dad's house. Everybody will make it there some time in the morning, but somebody is late. Somebody is always late. Should we just go ahead and open presents? No. Of course not. Then we're all present (ha!) and accounted for. And the littlest is Santa and hands out gifts. Then a buffet (it's just so hard to pass) lunch. Cake or pie? Yes. Tea's on the sideboard.

But the Thanksgiving plans are already scuttled because of extended family concerns. We've made contingency plans. But, ow ow ow. And Christmas is looking pretty shakey. There are kids and in-laws and travel time to accomodate. The things that are "well, of course, we always do it that way" are just not going to get done.

And it's okay. Things change. Families change. We'll be together when we can. And the "always" things may just have to wait until next time. It really is okay. You sometimes have to poke yourself in the arm and remind yourself that just because it's new doesn't mean it's worse. There can be new traditions.

I just wish I'd known at the time that last year was the last one.