Shall I pour?

Well, last night was the annual Heart Association Cotes du Coeur pre-party that I volunteer at. It’s always an experience. The Cliff Notes version of the party is that it’s an event for the sponsors and big dollar donors, where they get to sample a special flight of wines and meet the winemakers who are featured at the event. Lots of cardiologists, wine aficionados and local bigwigs. And it’s always a hoot to watch rich people get their crunk on.

I didn’t actually get an invitation this year to be a pourer. Possibly because they had a change in staff at the Heart association, and their list of volunteers got lost. Or possibly because I had been blacklisted. I’ve been known to tell the winemakers that “I’m really a beer girl” or “I like plonk”. What can I do? They back me into a corner. The have the brazen effrontery to ask "So what wines do you like?" Really. The nerve. And I don’t have to like wine to put it into a glass. Plus, I can reel off the patter with the best of them about “a rich flavor with hints of chocolate, blackberry and cassis, and a top note of hickory”. (Which to me could also describe barbecue sauce, but whatevs.) But despite my beer ravaged palate, BomB (Buddy of my Blog) Mo snuck me in anyway. And a good thing too. She was in imminent danger of needing to be rescued from a South American lech. But that’s her story, and I’ll let her tell it if she chooses.

But I always feel like I’ve had a glimpse of what it would be like to be a Victorian maid when I work one of these things. Very upstairs/downstairs. I try to be anonymous and unobtrusive. Smile vaguely, avoid direct eye contact, fill the glass, nod humbly. Some of the guests act like you’re a fancy corkscrew with a serving arm attachment. Others act like you’re another guest who just picked up a bottle to help out the hostess, and start to chat. I actually find it easier to be a wizbang bottle opener than to make with the chit-chat. Add rich people to the list of things that freak me out. I’m sure they’re simply lovely people. But really. NOKD.