Those by any other name

Okay. The “I [heart] Boobies” bracelets in support of breast cancer awareness. Am I the only one thinking people need to take a chill pill on this one? What is the big deal here?

Boobies. Yeah. It’s childish. But frankly, of aaaaalllll the words that are out there for breasts (and let’s face it when it comes to synonyms for one simple concept, this one has to be up there), this is one that I find relatively inoffensive. Almost affectionate. Boobs, maybe not so much. But boobies is okay. Way better than fun bags or tits. And for the record, tits should only be used in the context of the phrase “like tits on a bull”. Because, guaranteed, if you sat that to me, I will laugh.

And the bracelets kind of make me laugh. And it’s getting to the point where women have lost their senses of humors about their ta-tas. I mean, let’s face it, big or little, they are kind of ridiculous. Functional. But a really weird design. And, gawd knows why men are so fascinated. But they are.

And that leads me to the second point. Anything that makes men realize that they have a vested interest here is a plus. Women’s medical research has lagged behind men’s for years. So, if guys are thinking that “Hey, I do like boobies. Maybe I should pitch in”, it’s all good.

In fact, it’s kind of a clever marketing scheme. We could start putting in subliminal nipples on images of the earth, and men might start thinking of the planet as one giant breast. Guys would be recycling and bicycling to work in no time. “Dude, you can’t buy an Escalade. Do you know what those emissions do to the breast, I mean, breath, I mean, breathing, I mean, air?” Kyoto Protocol? Done.