The Magic Trick

A clip Washington Gardener sent me (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYpwAtnywTk)about how to look pretty got me thinking. The girl referred to herself as “butt ugly” (which I hope she was joking about; she was actually a pretty, if not stunning, girl next door type; I hope she was just making a point and is not running around with horribly damaged self-esteem). And she uses all the makeup tricks, fried blond hair, ho gear and dancing/mating rituals that you’d see in any bar in America on a Friday night. Your basic club chick. And one that most red-blooded frat boys would call “hot.”

And that’s the point really. Humans have certain triggers on what we find attractive: big eyes, full lips, clear skin. And with a minimum of effort, those can all be faked. Eyeliner, lipstick, and foundation. And it really depends on how willing you are to apply any or all of those 3 that will effect how far you fake will fool people. A fairly average girl who is willing to use a trowel to apply her makeup can actually conform to the ideal closer than a much prettier girl sans makeup.

There’s your key word: conform. Because pretty isn’t about an aesthetic any more. It’s a test to see how willing you are to conform to a social standard. You have what you’re given. But you can make up miles in the attractiveness race by applying all the millions of little helpers the cosmetics industry has given us. And the most willing among us will go a step farther than that and have permanent surgical enhancement, rather than a swipe of lip gloss. And as all those “Stars Without Makeup” spreads in the tabs have shown us, even the genetically blessed will resort to enhancement to make sure they’ve hit all those little triggers. Yes, Angelina Jolie is gorgeous. But when was the last time you saw her on a red carpet without eyeliner? Maybe never.

And let’s face it, if makeup was really about expressing yourself, you’d see a lot more people walking around with purple swirls or little rainbows painted on their faces. It’s not a coincidence that no matter what the current color trend, eyebrow shape or application invention, it always boils down to pretty much the same thing: big eyes, full lips, clear skin.

I’m not railing against the standard. I’m not even railing against the cosmetics. If you weren’t beautiful, and you feel you need to be, fake it until you make it. I’m not much for conformity, but more power to ya. What I am once again surprisingly surprised at how easy humans are too fool. And how happily willing we are to be fooled.