The Jerk

I’ve seen a couple of things where Jeremy Piven is coming out and speaking about his struggle with mercury poisoning. I think he’s figured out that people don’t think he just plays a jerkwad on TV. He’s all method, baby. Actually, I don’t know that he’s a jerkwad in real life. He could be all kinds of sweet in the real world. I doubt it. But it is in the realm of possibility that he just has a talent for playing the less noble among us. And isn’t actually King Douchebag. Again, doubt it. But if so, hand the man an Oscar.

Here’s the thing though. I don’t actually object to douchebags on general principal. Some of my favorite people in the world have been pretty jerky. Jerks usually tell it like it is. They don’t sugarcoat their words, or play the game so that you’ll like them. They don’t care if you like them, so why bother? It can be kind of relaxing to hang around a jerk. We all usually have the “act” made up of our little social skills and diplomatic phrasings that make it possible to get through all that interaction. Lord love a jerk. They usually have a thick enough skin that you can just say it. No varnish needed.

Some of my jerkwad friends have been just straight up jerks, with few redeeming qualities. But they’ve had one or too that have been not incompatible with the jerky that have made them at least casual friends. Like a wicked sense of humor, or mad computer skills. And those are not assets to be discounted lightly. Of course, you don’t introduce them to your single friends without major warnings: you will live in a world of regret if you attempt to date this hot mess.

Then there are some that are jerks with a heart of gold. Sometimes the douchey exterior hides the actual sweetheart that resides within. Perhaps they want to appear tough. Perhaps they want to be accepted on their own terms. Perhaps they’ve had their little marshmallow insides squashed too many times and have grown a hard candy shell. Again, you don’t introduce them to your girlfriends without a warning. But it’s usually along the lines of “I guarantee he will say something schmucky. But stick it out. He can be really worth the effort."