Getting to the belly button of the issue

Okay, have you seen the thing about the scientific study that says that black people have high belly buttons and that’s what makes them good runners, and white people have low belly buttons and that’s why they swim well, but we’re not racist even though we said black people and white people, and it’s heredity and that’s scientific, so quit looking at us like we’re Jimmy the Greek? It’s one of those things that people wonder about, and can mention in a stand up routine, but people get edgy about it if a scientist tries to explain it. With good reason. Science is second only to religion in being misappropriated to excuse people’s prejudices.

Though the low belly button and swimming thing does kind of make sense. Look at Michael Phelps. That boy’s basically built like a dolphin. All torso, with little flipper legs down there at the bottom. But then again, I’m a white girl with a really high belly button, and I can’t run for shit.

Anyway. Did they have to go there with the color thing in their study? Probably not. Did it add much to our understanding of biomechanics or are they going to come up with backroom belly button doping procedures? They could have done their study and said, “Everybody who’s a good swimmer to the right. Everybody who’s a good runner to the left.” Then did a quick belly button check, and that would have been plenty. And perhaps, one might have made note, in passing that there was a certain color gradation in the two groups. In an “Oh, ha ha, isn’t that interesting yet completely insignificant and not worth mentioning in a board published scientific journal” kind of way. And then JUST DROP IT.