Well, I didn’t watch the Academy Awards, because, well, you know. And the other you know. But I did look at the red carpet pics. You know I loves the fashion.
But I gotta say, some people are starting to fuh-reak me out. Namely the women who just aren’t aging. You know how they used to say that it wasn’t fair that women get “old” while men get “distinguished”? Well, evidently changing society’s attitude, it was easier for women in Hollywood to just stop getting old. Sigourney Weaver, gorgeous. Katherine Bigelow, she’s 58??!?!? Demi Moore, she’s not getting older, but Ashton is – do you suppose she’s sucking the life force out of him while he sleeps? (okay, hee-hee) There was just picture after picture of these Hollywood women who should be dames by now, but seem to stopped aging around 40. Frankly? Weird.
There used to be a progression to the red carpet. First you were wearing a dress cut up to here and down to there. Then the thigh high slit would disappear as the legs are the first to go, but the boobs still looked pretty good (as long as there was plenty of support), so the plunging neckline would stay front and center. But then the décolletage would start to go, so the neckline would start creeping up, and the under-arm wobbles would start the sleeves growing down, and with the poochy tummy comes the floaty fabric. Pretty soon, you were 50, in a snappy caftan, and looked like a head and pair of hands floating down the walkway.
But there’s Demi Moore with the down to there and up to there. With her sadly withering former boy toy. Who may look like her grandpa by next year’s Golden Globes. He’s starting to look a little distinguished.
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4 comments:
legs go first, really? i always thought it was boobs, butt, chin/neck, then maybe legs - i see a lot of older gals who can still show off in an above-knee skirt
Don't look too closely at the knees though. Looks like they borrowed them from Dumbo. The calves can stay pretty nice looking for a long time. It's the saggy knees that give you away.
Boobs only go first if you're well-endowed (less to sag if you're smaller). I think my butt loss accelerated from dropping 25 lbs and then gaining it back pretty quickly post chemo.
Ah, the butt. You never forget the first time that you go up the stairs and your ass stays in the basement. The good old days - when everything was bouncing and behaving.
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