This is one of those instances where I suspect there’s an international conspiracy of “fashion writers” and clothing sellers. It really is a campaign of misinformation designed only to sell clothing. Even if it makes buyers look like fools.
Look at this article: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/5-ways-to-look-thinner-in-5-minutes-528211/
It’s mostly blah-blah-blather, common sense (color on what you want to emphasize, black on what you don’t) and benign fashion babble (a chunky bracelet will distract from a big butt – Well, no. But nice try). It’s a big internet and they have to write something to fill up all that blank space.
But then you get down to the shoe-booties. No. AAAAANNNNGGGHHH. Wrong. Shoe-booties are the most heinously wrong fashion mistake perpetrated on the female population since pink spandex bicycle shorts. They don’t look good on ANYONE. They foreshorten the leg, which always, always, but always makes you look chunky and dumpy. Always. No exceptions. They make Rhianna look like she’s got tree stump legs. They make boney Gwyneth Paltrow look like she’s got tree stump legs. And they will make you (no matter who you are) look like you have tree stump legs. The only time they don’t make your legs look like pig trotters or a cloven-hoofed spawn of Satan are when you wear them under pants. Where you can’t see them! It's a shoe that looks good on a shelf. Bad on your body.
The only reason they are hot right now is because you don’t have them already. Shoe designers are trying to trap you into a fashion mistake that you will suddenly, one year from now, think “Dear God, what was I thinking??!?!!?!?” And will need to go out and buy an entirely new shoe wardrobe to replace all those hideous shoe-booties that you bought. They get you coming (Shoe-booties are hot! Buy 8 pairs! In every color!) and going (Shoe-booties are stank! Get rid of them!). They are loathesome.
And this so called “Style Caster” is telling us that they will slim our figures! Lies. Lies. And more lies. Shame on you, you shill. You patsy! You betrayer! Fie on you!
Look at this article: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/5-ways-to-look-thinner-in-5-minutes-528211/
It’s mostly blah-blah-blather, common sense (color on what you want to emphasize, black on what you don’t) and benign fashion babble (a chunky bracelet will distract from a big butt – Well, no. But nice try). It’s a big internet and they have to write something to fill up all that blank space.
But then you get down to the shoe-booties. No. AAAAANNNNGGGHHH. Wrong. Shoe-booties are the most heinously wrong fashion mistake perpetrated on the female population since pink spandex bicycle shorts. They don’t look good on ANYONE. They foreshorten the leg, which always, always, but always makes you look chunky and dumpy. Always. No exceptions. They make Rhianna look like she’s got tree stump legs. They make boney Gwyneth Paltrow look like she’s got tree stump legs. And they will make you (no matter who you are) look like you have tree stump legs. The only time they don’t make your legs look like pig trotters or a cloven-hoofed spawn of Satan are when you wear them under pants. Where you can’t see them! It's a shoe that looks good on a shelf. Bad on your body.The only reason they are hot right now is because you don’t have them already. Shoe designers are trying to trap you into a fashion mistake that you will suddenly, one year from now, think “Dear God, what was I thinking??!?!!?!?” And will need to go out and buy an entirely new shoe wardrobe to replace all those hideous shoe-booties that you bought. They get you coming (Shoe-booties are hot! Buy 8 pairs! In every color!) and going (Shoe-booties are stank! Get rid of them!). They are loathesome.
And this so called “Style Caster” is telling us that they will slim our figures! Lies. Lies. And more lies. Shame on you, you shill. You patsy! You betrayer! Fie on you!
And don't get me started on OPEN-TOED shoe-booties. Gah!
2 comments:
ugh hate open-toe boots, pumps, etc.
Open-toed boots always seem to me to be like long underwear with the butt flap open. Not so much lewd as doing a half-assed job.
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