Signs

I’m really watching the story of the mom in New York who crashed her van and killed herself and 7 other people, including her daughter and 3 nieces, with a sick feeling in my stomach. All of her family and friends swear that she never drank, and would never put her kids in danger. And some are even saying the cops made a mistake, she couldn’t possibly have done something so irresponsible. Cops do make mistakes. But her blood alcohol was twice the legal limit (with alcohol still left in her stomach), she had marijuana in her system and there was a broken vodka bottle in the car. That’s a lot of evidence.

And two of those things really lead me to believe this wasn’t her first time. First, the vodka bottle was 1.75 liters. That’s the big bottle. Usually the one with the milk jug handle. Non-drinkers don’t go for the big bottle. Second, the marijuana. For a non-smoker, marijuana isn’t an impulse buy. It’s not sitting on the rack at the check-out counter. Sure, it’s not impossible to get. It’s not even hard. But you do need to know who to call.

I think her family and friends will find that there was a lot they didn’t know about her. And they’ll be combing over every memory they have looking their life with her from a completely different angle. They may find that she ended up so sick because she was so good at hiding her problems. The functioning alcoholic can be incredibly devious and secretive. Or they may find that the signs were there and they couldn’t, or worse wouldn’t, see them. First, you have to admit that there’s a problem. And it’s not always only the alcoholic that denies the obvious. But I have a feeling that family will find themselves at five graves, deeply mourning the loss of 4 children, and one complete stranger.