Bad girl! Bad!

I really am starting to think I was a magpie in a past life. I have this bizarre acquisitive streak. I see something I want, and my beady little eyes light up and my fingers start to twitch like Snidley Whiplash in a Dudley Doright cartoon.

Sometimes, it's a good thing. I especially like silly little things that I think might be useful at some point. Like those little ziplock bags that the extra buttons on a shirt come in. And I especially like it when they come with a tag that's attached by a tiny safety pin. Oooooo. Those are good. And just a few minutes ago, I was polishing off the last piece of gum in one of those little plastic Eclipse jars. My palms started itching. What can I do with this. I peeled off the labels and I have this terrific little container. The lid even screws off. And it has two - count 'em, two! - flip tops. It's like Christmas!

Sometimes, it's bad. Like last night. I was at the TJMaxx and saw this purse. It was a Lucky Brand. And right now they are making these insane-making cute purses. I don't know who their designer is, but they get right in my kitchen and start cooking. And I can be looking at a rack filled with 200 purses and zoom right in on the Lucky purse. With a Golum like "My precious!" Me want, me want, me want. Unfortunately, all I can do is want, because they are crazy out of my price range. Even at off-price stores. A hundred bucks for a purse? I think not. (Don't even come near me with one of those psycho expensive Birkin bags. I spit upon them.)

Until last night. Cheesy peas. There it was. Green. Leather. I'm like a fiend for anything in green leather. And it has this this crazywierd design. And a long strap that you can wear across the body. Oh sweet mother of pearl. I petted it for 5 minutes. I'm sure security was called. I forced myself to walk away. It was $80 instead of the usual $100. But still. That's not my 'hood.

Then I was half way across the store, and thought if I go back and find some woman touching my purse, I might have to punch her in the throat to snatch it back from her and run away. What could I do? It was my purse.

Long story short (too late), I went back and got it. I got the cold sweats standing in an unmercifully long line to buy it. But I did. I spent that unholy amount on a purse. I'm so ashamed. But I'm ashamed while I pet my purse (precious!). I'll have to figure out a way to do personal finance pennance until I pay myself back for this one. Ramen for 6 months or something.