So last Friday, I got free tickets to a show over in Addison. The show was supposed to be a small Appalachian church’s production of a nativity play. Sort of a show within a show kind of thing, though the nativity play was the dominant part of the production. It was all very nice, but as you can imagine, a bluegrass baby in a manger isn’t really my cuppa. But I thought my parents might dig it. I even had a fourth ticket, but a religious play was a bit of a hard sell for any of my friends. Shocker. This was a nativity that started at the beginning. As in “in the Beginning”, and hit most of the highpoints along the way. But it kept a sense of humor, and the religious aspects pretty open-ended and the preaching to a minimum. And the bit with Noah and the dove was probably in the top 10 of funniest things I’ve ever seen on stage.
The only thing that made it hard was that we were in the second to last row. And some kid behind me starts kicking the back of my seat about 20 seconds after the lights came down. And kept it up in this random tattoo (whump . . . . whump. . whump………whump) all the way through the first act. At the intermission, I turned around to ask the little dear to keep his or her feet on the floor, and found that the tot was actually a teenager. Maybe a tween. But definitely old enough to know not to kick the flipping chairs. I found myself so taken aback that I didn’t say anything at all. Mostly because I couldn’t think of anything more courteous to say than, “Were you raised in a barn?” And that might have put a pall on the evening.
Then when we sat down for the second act, she started in before the house lights even dimmed. And her mother says, “Honey, don’t do that. It’s hard on the chairs.” ??????? Well, let me tell you, it ain’t exactly a day at the spa for the person in the chair either. Once again, complete befuddlement. Once again because all I could think to say was, “Are you raising her out in the barn?” But I just decided to stiff upper lip it. She’s at least trying to take her kid someplace other than the mall, credit where due. I just tried to simmer down and enjoy the rest of the show (whump . . . whump). Lovely.
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2 comments:
OMG! HOW could you stand it -- there NEEDS to be a universal sugnal of don't pull on as YOU get up to steady yourself, kick, jostle, or otherwise TOUCH MY CHAIR! "The bird" is taken - but I suggest something akin to it that is unmistakable.
For some reason the kicking and jostling are getting worse in stadium movie theaters these days - what is the deal folks!!! If someone turns there head all the way around from the movie, play, concert, puppet show, etc. to LOOK RIGHT AT YOU -- get a clue, you are probably kicking them.
I think some part of it is that they have reduced knee room in a lot of places to fit in more rows. I'm long-legged so I try to be careful. I tried the "Oh, my, what is that I feel" look, but it was a little too subtle for the Jr. Rockette behind me. Most theatrical venues do a "please turn off your cell phones and pages" message before the show. They probably should add a "please keep your limbs to yourself" clause as well.
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