Here’s one thing I’ve noticed about street people – they are able to say 2 completely contradictory things on one breath without any noticeable strain. And I’m never able to figure out whether they actually believe what they’re saying, or just expect me to.
For example. Last night I’m on my way into a store, and a lady sitting on the sidewalk with several large bags (make your own inferences) calls out to me: “Hey, there! I’m not panhandling or asking for a handout or anything, but do you have any money you can spare?” ………………………………..Uhm. Now I did not have a dictionary on me, but I’m pretty sure asking a stranger for spare change would be pretty close to the definition of a handout. And since I noted the glaring absence of a bell, a bucket or a Santa suit, I’m going to have to say that if you are in public asking a person for money, you are either a panhandler or the CEO of a car company. Now I wouldn’t want to admit I was running GM either, but given that she wasn’t wearing a $5,000 suit, I’d have to guess that she was indeed a panhandler.
So that leaves me the question – is she in such a level of denial that she can honestly ask for money, but not consider herself, well let’s just say it right out, a beggar? Or is it part of a con in which I’m supposed to think, “Well, she just said she’s not a panhandler. She just needs money”, like it’s a totally different thing? I think there’s a lot of both those types of people out there on the streets. And it’s virtually impossible to tell which one you’ve got standing in front of you in that moment. The bad one and the sad one look exactly the same.
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Maybe it is a dignity or denial thing, though I think it is more poor communication skills and trying to phrase what she REALLY means - which is "I'm not a charity case, I just need a little help once in a while to get by."
That could be it. Unfortunately, like any other pitch on the streets, that one gets used under false pretenses too. I'm stranded. I only need 30 cents more for bus fare. I lost my wallet. You hear them all a lot. It really gets to be a conflict between the person you could help right here, right now, and giving money to a reputable organization that offers long-term services and a plan to get people in a better place. I think I actually mind getting scammed less than wondering if I'm helping someone stay in a bad lifestyle. Feels weirdly co-dependent.
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