Just around the bend

Let’s just jump into the whole menopause thing.

I was not thrilled to get my period the first time. I was a tomboy and the monthly visit just really put a crimp in my style. I had other girlfriends who were thrilled. They probably grew up to be women who enjoy being pregnant. I just considered the whole thing very inconvenient, and more than a little gross. And adding cramps just put the insult cherry on the pain in the ass sundae.

But you get used to it. It takes awhile to get the hang of menstruation. You learn your cycle. You keep feminine hygiene products handy, even if your period shouldn’t be for another 3 days, because god knows it likes to surprise you every once in awhile. But eventually, you can handle your business. I kind of started to look at it as a sign that life was on a pretty even keel. If I was stressed out and not taking care of my body, periods became irregular and painful. If I was living right, it just kind of came and went, on time and in an orderly fashion. But the teenager in me still just kind of wished the whole thing would go away.

But as you get older, older women feel like they can let you in on the secrets more. You get the picture that menopause isn’t just childhood 2.0. You’re not just off the hook. You get a whole new set of things to deal with. Hot flashes, heart disease, hair in weird places, collagen goes south, sexuality goes haywire, you start to gain weight in places you never gained weight before. And there’s the whole do I go on hormone replacement therapy, or do I just ride it out?

And there are still those women who enjoy all the developments of womanhood. They think they’ve become a tribal elder. And they can enjoy moving into this new stage. Bless their hearts.

So, now I’m bumping up against 40. I know peri-menopause could already be here. There’s some sort of stick test you can get at the grocery store that will tell you if you’re pre-menopausal. Kind of like a whacked out pregnancy test – “You’re NOT pregnant, forever!” I don’t think I want to know. Of course, every time my period is a day late, or starts slower than usual, I think – is this it? But so far, it just goes straight back to normal. One grandmother went into menopause really early, and one went really late. So I’m not sure what to expect. I don’t know if it will make me totally nuts, or just be a non-event. But it’s always there now. The good and the bad. And it’s just going to happen. The way everything about being a woman seems to.