No sooner had I mentioned that I've given up regular soda, due to what may possibly be a problem that my body has processing corn syrup, did I see an ad from the good people who make corn syrup rebutting the current scuttlebut about their product.
Basically, their point is that all these vague, unsubstantiated rumors are just plain ridiculous. Why would you think that something made out of your good old buddy corn could possibly harm you, you silly-billy?
I could probably point out that Willie Nelson's bio-diesel is made with corn too. But I'm unlikely to pop open a can to have with my lunch. Instead, I'm going to take them at their word that all things corn are just great for me (in moderation, of course), and start eating corny dogs, movie theater popcorn and hush puppies with no guilt whatsoever. Hell, it's practically health food. I'm surprised I like them at all.
And also, kudos to the corn syrup people for making me feel ignorant and reactionary for giving credence to those wild rumors, accusations and scientific studies. Nothing like a kick to my self-esteem to make me want to run out and buy your product. I am, indeed, a silly-billy. In fact, I think I'll just run out and get myself a six-pack to drink in celebration of my return to sanity. Thanks, corn syrup. You're a pal.
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4 comments:
I was just about to send you that sweetsuccess.com link - My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw their ads! I notice on their site comparison of sugar, honey & corn syrup they NEVER address how these 3 are metabolized by the human body. If they did, that would tell the whole story. Calorie count per gram and "all-natural" ingredients comparisons are just red herrings.
PS Corn - good or bad - no one is going to pry hush puppies away from me.
Ma ahs nearly rolled outta ma head. They acted like they take ears of corn and squeeze them to get fresh, pure corn syrup. My rosey-red rear. They torture they hell out of corn to get corn syrup.
And I'm with you on the hush puppies, but it's not the corn meal that makes those babies hell on wheels for your body. It's the saturated fat. Oh, I'll still be eating them. They'll just be salted with a soupcon of death wish.
I saw the TV ad again yesterday - so patronizing and dumbed down - can't wait for the counter-attack.
And there are 2 version. Both very insulting. I went out and bought 2 six-packs of Hansen's cane syrup soda from the health food store for revenge.
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