Feeling like the only bait in town

Okay. I'm going to be brutally honest here. Even though it doesn't reflect well on me.

All the sudden, I'm getting hit on by older dudes. Like crusty older dudes. And I'm having a hard time thinking of this as flattering. Somehow I have this feeling that it's an indication that I've hit that "certain age". And all the sudden, I look like a hot prospect for guys who get AARP magazine, but only for the articles. Like the sell by date on my ovaries is up.

And it's not really an aesthetic thing. it's not like I don't dig the gray hair. Loves me silver foxes. But when the gray hair is in a scraggly ponytail and accompanied by a Hawaiian print shirt, I just can see this conversation ending in, "Well, gee, Bob. Going to your house to drink box wine and listen to your Grateful Dead bootlegs sounds like a blast. But I think I'm going to have to pass." And guys in their mid-50s to mid-60s come with baggage. They remember the feminsist revolution. And they remember that it didn't work out really well for them. Some of them have yet to figure out the difference between the duties of a girlfriend and a their mommy. And for the others, somebody needs to tell guys that a mid-life crisis is not an attractive look on anyone. The sports car, the younger girlfriend, the ear ring, the frat boy gear. None of it is going to make you look younger. In fact, all it's going to do is make for a higher contrast picture. Also, while I may have a sweet tooth, I've never had a taste for the sugar daddy. And for that matter, if I wanted D-cups, I'd by them for myself, thanks.

Okay. Okay. That's getting a little harsh. I've just been getting that Fins to the Left, Fins to the Right sensation a little too often here lately. I'm just going to have to accept that the 40 is hoving into view. And things are going to change. But somethings will not change that much. This hand may not rock the cradle, but it also doesn't rob the senior center.