Talking Trash

"It's fairly clear that in the modern age that there is a currency to celebrity, or celebrity is a currency, really. I've discovered that you can spend it in a lot of ways, or you can squander it. You can be taxed, as well. I really started thinking long and hard about how to use that currency as long as I had it." — Ben Affleck (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080626/ap_en_ce/celeb_now_hear_this_wrap_up;_ylt=AizLf7i8Nnj8TNc72._HHVFxFb8C)

Given the fact that I'm more or less convinced that Ben Affleck is a giant goob, I'm actually quite sympathetic that he was caught saying this big fat load of twaddle.

I hate it when that happens. You've thought about something long and hard. Weighed all the arguments. Formulated brilliant metaphors that express the essential truth of your conclusion. And the first time you get a chance to dazzle the folks with your brilliant metaphor, you can actually see it form a cloud of methane as it leaves your mouth. "Oh, my God! I am talking complete crap. Abort! Abort! Abort!" You are just spouting the most unbelievable line of crap in the history of crapdom. And if you're lucky, you know it. And you can figure out a way stop the Fiesta Del Caca as it congos out of your boca. Thus retaining some scrap of your dignity.

Worse is when you don't actually here yourself until you're finished. And the last word flies out of your mouth and lands with a splat like a giant cow pie. And you and your aghast audience just kind of stand and stare at what you just said. "Wow. That was bad." And you all just step away gingerly. As fast as you can.

But even worse when you're a celebrity. And there are cameras there. When I talk a load of shite, generally there are no recording devices around to capture me in all my glory. But somebody like Ben-boy might just talk a pile of crap as some sycophant nods and smiles. "Oh, yes. I know just what you mean. You're brilliant, Ben Affleck." And then he doesn't even know until you find a puddle of poop in some magazine with your name tagged to it. "Did I say that? Oh, hell."

Or maybe other people have more restraint, and actually resist the urge to let a bunch of half-baked mumbo-jumbo come out of their mouths on a fairly regular basis. Maybe other people aren't amazed that they ever thinks, "that sounded completely sane inside my head." Maybe it's just me. Me and Ben Affleck.