And you know what, while I'm issuing cease and desist orders, how about this one - short people should stop dating tall people. And if they feel like they must (but we love each other, blah, blah, whine, whine), then under no circumstances should they attend a concert together. Especially one where they stand up. Because you will insist on standing next to each other. Rude.
Because here's the deal, the taller of the two, usually the guy, will want to push closer to the front "so my girl can see." But then you, tall boy, will block the view of everyone behind you. Because evidently your girlfriend is a dimwit and can't be left unattended in a crowd situation. All I'm saying is that your insistence on hand holding is leading to a non-uniform crowd density.
In fact, I think that it's possible that a higher level of organization may be necessary in concert crowds. There should zoned areas in the audience: short people, tall people, people who aren't there to see the show and merely attended so that they can walk back and forth in the crowd*, people who can't stand still and switch back and forth between their feet, head bobbers, beer spillers, dance like you're off your meds people, dancing sexy/gropey-gropey couples. You could probably come up with about 20 solid classifications. And I'm not saying you'd need actual ropes to cordon off the zones, but perhaps little lines drawn on the floor that show you your designated spot might be effective.
* And just to share information. Because of the girls who can't stay in one place and want to walk through the crowd, using their bosoms as battering rams, I now know what fake boobs feel like. Mildly disconcerting to say the least. Not that I have a wide basis for comparison. I only have extensive knowledge of my own chest. But on that limited basis, I can say that the level of firmness in a fake set is really a little bizarre. So to the boobie bumper girls, there's really no need to push me out of the way with your breasts you bought. A simple "excuse me" will suffice.
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2 comments:
SOOOOO with you - I've long advocated short-to-tall concert admission - be nice at movies and other events too - but I can see some crazy nut-job in love with NKOTB cutting off their feet to be in the "front row"
I gave in and where platform sandals now to add an extra 3 inches so I can SEE and not be in pain from heels
On th fake boob tip - I got a big hug from a friend when ne ta-tas recently - it was VERY uncomfortable -- the same reason I loved my Barbie doll but only shared my bed with stuffed animals - hard and plastic is not very pleasant and mildly disturbing when unexpectedly accosted by it
I'm with you on the platforms. I have a pair of shoes that have a 2 inch soul on them that I call my concert shoes. I'm not short. But for some reason if there's a guy who's friends call Gigantor there, he'll be drawn by some cosmic force to stand directly in front of me. I need the boost.
The fake boobs are very off-putting. Definitely a case of quantity over quality.
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